


Hard to Trust

by Pathybo



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent - All Media Types, Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:16:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9842174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pathybo/pseuds/Pathybo
Summary: The older sister of Tris is secretely trained by Four to join Dauntles after a massive heart break.Marcus Eaton is not Abnegation leadership anymore. Andrew Prior is the president of Chicago. It's a little different than the original one.





	1. Chapter 1

Hard to Trust

You reach into your knapsack and pull out a small loaf of bread. The woman quickly takes it and mumbles, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” you say as she walks on. Everyday after studies you and other Abnegation kids give food out to the factionless. Today your two best friends were with you and your younger siblings, Caleb and Beatrice.

Caleb was Abnegation through and through. He was so much like your father, Andrew, who had recently replaced Marcus Eaton as the Abnegation leader. His son, Tobias, was your best friend. It had come to light that Marcus had abused Tobias since he was young and this was the cause of his fall. The only reason he wasn’t factionless was because some of the other council respected him. They also trusted Marcus because he had been Head of Council for so long. How anyone could trust a man who beat his own wife and child you would never understand.

“(Y/N), can you help me,” your boyfriend, Jordan called out. Giving out the last of your rations, you walk over to him.

“How can I help,” you ask, following him into the shambles of a long forgotten building. Jordan raises a hand to hush you and quietly searches for any others around. Content with his findings, he gently takes your hand.

“You can help me by putting your lips on mine,” he grins. You feel yourself blush as Jordan wraps his arms around you and gives you a passionate kiss. All to soon you hear footsteps approaching.

“You guys need to be more discreet,” you hear Tobias say.

“Why,” Jordan teased. “You gonna tell your daddy?” He looked from Tobias to you. “I was just joking, lighten up.”

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” you say turning to your friend. “Sorry, Tobias. Are you okay?”

He looked hurt and was glaring at Jordan. “I’ve dealt with worse,” He responded.

You felt ice run through your veins. Marcus had done unimaginable things to his son. And he’d suffered for so long in silence.

“Are you two coming for dinner,” You ask after a minute. Tobias started to say something but shut his mouth again after looking behind you at Jordan. You saw the grin on his face before he turned and kicked at some ruble.

“We’ll see,” he said. Then turning back to you. “I’m gonna go check on your brother and sister. There’s no telling what she’s gotten into.

Jordan walked over with him and you watch them talk. They were both eighteen now and would be going to the choosing ceremony tomorrow. Your guess was that Tobias would choose to leave Abnegation, if for nothing more than to get away from his father for good. And who could blame him?

Jordan had talked about a future with you here. You weren’t worried. He loved what he did here and he loved you. Your eighteenth birthday was just a month away so you had another year before your own choosing day. But you knew you would choose to stay in Abnegation. You couldn’t wait for your future with Jordan.

While waiting for the boys to finish their talk you walk around, running your fingers along the old walls. It wasn’t long before Jordan jogged up and picked you up in an embrace.

“Were you being nice?” you ask as he put you back on the ground.

“Of course,” he exclaimed. “Actually I was asking him to keep Caleb and Beatrice busy later.” He kissed your forehead. “I want some time alone with you tonight. After our parents head to the meeting will you come over?”

You looked up into his dark brown eyes. “Is everything okay?”

He smiled and took your hand as you walk to your house. “I think it’s something to do with the ceremony tomorrow. My dad will be going so I will be alone most of the night.” You smiled at the thought. The two of you had never been alone together.

“And Tobias is staying with Caleb and Beatrice,” you ask. “You know they’re sixteen now, right?”

“No one likes to be alone, (y/n). Plus I think Beatrice has a little crush on him,” he winked. You laugh as you said your good-byes and walk into your house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner you and your siblings clean as your parents leave to go to the meeting. Tobias showed up as your put the last of the dishes away. Caleb headed off to his room and Beatrice stayed in the front room talking to Tobias when you headed out the door.

Jordan was outside waiting for you. He embraced you in a small hug and then invites you inside. He turns on a light and you sit down. You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to in a few years when you and he would have your own place.

“What’s on your mind,” he asks, sitting beside you. “Must be something good for you to smile that big.” He takes your hand and you lean in for a peck on the cheek.

“Just thinking about the future,” you smile. Jordan nods and stands. He walks to the cupboard in the corner then walks around, rubbing his hands on his pants.

“I’ve been thinking about the future as well,” he comments, still pacing.

You feel a lump in your throat. He couldn’t be leaving, could he? Was he breaking up with you? Your mind danced around these ideas as the silence grew on.

“(Y/N), your know tomorrow is my choosing day,” he paused, swallowing thickly. “You and I, we’ve grown up together, been best friends for as long as I can remember.” Jordan finally slowed, coming to stand in front of you. He ran his fingers through his wavy hair. You watched him lick his lips, the ones you’d only gotten to kiss a few times. Too many to count, but not nearly as many as you’d like.

You watched your shaking hand reach out towards him and you pull it back, fidgeting with your cardigan instead. You felt very exposed all of a sudden. “Jordan, whatever it is…”

He cut you off, “Tomorrow everything is going to change.” He knelt down in front of you and takes both of your hands into his. “I need this change,” he said quietly, looking sadly into your eyes.

You couldn’t breathe. Your hands went to your throat as your breathing hitched. Tears were blurring your vision. Coldness replaced the heat when his hands left your thighs.

“I don’t want to be just friends anymore. I want you to be my wife.” You felt him wipe at your eyes. You held your breath thinking you’d misheard him.

“What did you say,” you finally muster.

“Be my wife, (y/n). I love you so much,” Jordan whispered. “I want you by my side, forever.”

You look into his eyes, his own tears threatening to fall. Then you look down. In his hands he held a small box with a thin golden ring in the bottom. As you sit in stunned silence he pulled out the ring. Everything felt as if it were in slow motion as he pulled the ring from the box and reached for your left hand still clutching your cardigan to your throat. He carefully slid the jewelry on your finger and smiled when it fit.

Jordan watched as you turned your hand, looking at the band. “You’re asking me to marry you,” you mumble.

His head fell to your lap, “Yes. Now please say yes, I think I’m going to throw up.”

You smile as you lift his head, softly caressing his ears and lean into him for a kiss. You nod and whisper, “Yes.” Jordan played with your hair as you both cry. “I thought your were breaking up with me,” you whisper.

“No baby,” he said kissing you. “Never.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tobias was the only one up when you return home. He rushed to the door when he saw you.

“How did it go,” he smiled and reached for your hand.

You gasped, “You knew?” He laughed and nodded.

“I was sworn to secrecy.” You playfully punch his arm.

He hugged you before he left and you cried as he told you he’d miss you. You doubted you’d ever see him again.

Beatrice was asleep when you entered the room you shared. You undress quietly and let yourself think about happiness and Jordan, not hurting and Tobias leaving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Andrew and Natalie both had to be at the choosing ceremony so you were alone with your siblings. Caleb was kind enough to start breakfast before you and Beatrice came downstairs. Unfortunately you had a headache. Nightmares had kept you awake most of the night.

Beatrice wanted you to braid her hair. She noticed your ring as you turned her around. She couldn’t contain her excitement and asked you a million questions. You let her keep on as you made your way to the table. Even breakfast couldn’t quiet her much.

After cleaning you went back to bed. Your head still hurt and you were getting depressed about never seeing Tobias again. Before you nodded off you were able to console yourself by thinking of Jordan and how he would hold you when you missed your friend.

You were able to sleep all day until your parents came home. Beatrice had already told them about your engagement and Caleb was questioning your father on his duties during the ceremony and wondered what Jeanine was like.

“Do you mind if I walk to Jordans,” you ask as the talk calmed down. Andrew and Natalie looked at each other.

“(Y/N), why don’t you sit down,” your mother soothed. Your body was heavy as you obeyed. Beatrice sat beside you. Your mother began rubbing your shoulders as you twisted the ring on your finger.

Your father sat across from you and folded his hands on the table. “My dear, I’m sorry,” he started. You watched as he looked from you to you mother behind you. “I’m so sorry. Jordan chose to leave Abnegation.”

You stared at your father as he reached across the table to take your hand. Your mother continued to caress your shoulders and your sister hugged you tightly. Even your brother held your other hand as he knelt beside you. But none of it registered with you. You were to numb.


	2. Chapter 2

Hard to Trust - Chapter 2

Time didn’t ease your pain. Nothing helped. Your family was so loving and kind, but you could not see any light for the darkness you were in. It consumed you, it had consumed you for six months now. There was no purpose to life anymore.

You heard a slight knock then your mother appeared.  
“(Y/N), honey, dinner is ready. We’d all love it if you could join us.” She softly moved the hair from your forehead. After a moment of silence she headed back out of the room. “I’ll save a plate for you, dear.”  
They were all wonderful, but nothing could help you. Beatrice had put a blanket over the window in the room so the sunshine wouldn’t hurt your eyes. Natalie left food for you to eat when you felt up to it. Even Caleb tried to do stuff with you, to keep you company, but you didn’t have the strength to move anymore.

Memories played in your head constantly. Jordan, Tobias and you when you were all young, playing and running. And laughing. Even remembering the good times hurt you. What stayed on your mind most was the last night with your love. The night he said he’d never leave you. The night he asked you to marry him. The night you gave yourself to him.  
Tears burned your eyes as you thought of the kisses. You could feel his fingers on your skin as if he was there now. Finally the misery gave way to anger. You pushed your hair from your face, wiped the tears from your cheeks and got out of bed. As you brushed your hair you dreaded the decision to join your family.  
Everyone was excited to see you. After a few uncomfortable moments they picked up the conversation. Your mother noticed you only moving your food.  
She lightly touched your hand. “Eat, it’ll help,” she whispered. For her sake you took a few bites.  
After the table was cleared you sat staring into space. Beatrice and Caleb cleaned while your parents talked. You got up and started back to the room you shared with your sister, but your father stopped you.

“(Y/N), could you stay for a while,” Andrew pleaded with his eyes. “I actually have a surprise for you.”

You resumed your spot at the table, this time picking at your nails. What could your father give you? Unless it was a time machine you really weren’t interested. He came over after everyone else went to bed, bringing you a glass of water.

“Nice surprise,” you mumble. You take a sip, letting him know you were thankful.  
Andrew smiled, “That’s not your surprise.” He sat thinking for a moment. “I’ve been talking to Max, from Dauntless. That’s where Tobias defected to. He’s giving him some time off to come here. Not long, mind you, maybe a week or two, but at least it’ll give you a chance to say a good-bye. And to think about your future.”  
You stared at your father. How was he able to pull that off? Could he find Jordan too? You didn’t want to seem ungrateful so you got up and hugged him. “Thank you. I’ll never be able to repay you for this.”

His arms tighten around you. “I just want my daughter to be happy.”

Then there was a knock at the door. When Andrew smiled and nodded you took of at a slight jog. You opened the door and Tobias was in front of you, only he was different. He walked inside and picked you up in an embrace. His muscles were thick enough to feel even though he wore a black leather jacket.

“It’s so good to see you,” you nearly cry as he sits you back on the ground. “How have you been?”

He frowns, “I’m more worried about you, (y/n). I’ve heard you’re not doing well.”

You drop your eyes and start fidgeting with your hands. “I’m okay,” you admit.

Andrew walks over. “(Y/N), why don’t you go on to bed? I’ll fix up everything for Tobias.”

“Actually, it’s Four now,” you hear as you walk away.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The only reason you got out of bed was because Tobias, now Four, was here. You still waited to leave your room until everyone else had left for the day. Four was sitting at the table so you sat beside him.

“Alright, (y/n),” he started. “Eat something. We’re going for a run.” He smiled as you stared at him like he was crazy.

“I don’t even feel like moving,” you complain. “Why would I go running?”

He frowned, “You need to move, and the fresh air will do you wonders.” He nodded to the refrigerator. “Now get some food.” You get out the plate your mother left for you and try to eat while Four talks.

After you ate he waited for you to get dressed. “I think Dauntless would love you,” he teases when you trip coming out of your room. You laugh dryly.

As soon as you’re both outside Four starts off running, then comes back to get you. “I’m not used to holding back,” he laughs. From then on he keeps his pace slow to stay by your side. It wasn’t long before you felt like you couldn’t go on. The past six months of not getting out had really taken a toll on you.

When you make it back to the house Four got you both some water. “We’re going to do this twice a day,” he tells you. “It’ll get easier,” he laughs when you groan.

Four let you go upstairs and take a nap. He could tell it was all hard on you. When you came back down you sat down and talked. Neither one of you mentioned Jordan, and that was just fine with you. Four told you about what he did at Dauntless. You had to admit, it did sound interesting.

Beatrice seemed thrilled to see Four when she came home. The three of you chatted and watched him demonstrate some moves while waiting on Caleb and your parents. You laughed as your sister tried to “fight” Four. He tried and tried to help her get her moves right.

“If it looks so easy then why don’t you try,” Beatrice scoffed.

Four smiled when you stood up, “This should be fun.”

You thought you had the stance down, but you couldn’t hit him either. After several failed attempts you gave up. Beatrice had gone into the kitchen to help Caleb leaving you and Four alone.

“Your stance is actually good,” he said patting you on the back. “You might be Dauntless after all. You should keep this up.”

“Maybe tomorrow, I’m ready for food,” you admit. He walks with you into the kitchen.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Four had you running morning and night and “training” during the days. You felt less like taking naps and more like yourself. You were really starting to enjoy yourself.

“Come on, (y/n), You’re not really trying. Get mad at me,” he said during a fight. “Get mad and really go for it.”

Exasperated, you let your hands fall to your sides. “I can’t Four, I can’t fight like you want me to.”

He ran his left hand through his brown hair. “Then fight Jordan.”

You felt as if he’d punched you in the gut. “What?”

Four squared off and jabbed at you. “Pretend I’m Jordan. Come on hit me.”

You backed up but he kept coming at you. “Stop Four, this isn’t funny.”

“I don’t know who Four is,” he said. “I’m Jordan and you haven’t seen me since I defected.”

Your back hit a wall. “No, no,” you started to cry.

Four punched the wall beside your head. “Don’t cry, (y/n). I didn’t cry. I just broke your heart and left.” His face was inches from yours. The tears fell from your eyes but anger rose as Four kept talking. His insults hit hard.

Having taken enough you punch him in the jaw. “You liar,” you scream. Four barely blocked your next jab. You kept going as you cried. “You promised you wouldn’t leave, but you did! Why did you ask me to marry you if you were leaving? Why did you sleep with me?”

Four dropped his arms and you hit him in the chest. He choked out, “What did you say?”

Your body gave out and you crumpled to the floor. “I had sex with Jordan. The night he asked me to marry him,” you cried.

Four sat beside you and held you while you cried. He didn’t say much, just consoled you as you let go of everything you’d held in for so long. After it was all said you were completely exhausted. He walked you to your room and left you alone to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
After that day you’d been so much better. Four had stayed for two weeks and you take care of yourself and make improvements. He trained you while he was here and you’d kept it up after he’d left. Beatrice would even work with you when she could. Your choosing day was there before you even knew it.

Before, you would’ve guessed that you were Dauntless. Four had really helped in that. But now, you were just terrified. Your aptitude test was inconclusive, or rather, you were divergent. You really didn’t understand, but the fear on the test givers face told you enough. You were supposed to fake an illness, but your stomach was so twisted you didn’t have to pretend.

Today you sat in the crowd and watched your father call on every eighteen year old to make their decision. They all had to choose whether they would stay in the faction they were born in or defect to another. You assumed they all decided based on their aptitude results. All but you.

Your father nodded as your blood dripped on the coals of Dauntless. It made you wonder if he sent Four to help you get ready, instead of to pull you out of your depression. Your mother smiled through her tears when you waved good bye.

Now the wind was blowing your hair around as you rode on the train. You’d jumped on as it past just like the other initiates. It was taking all of you to Dauntless. To be Dauntless. Fear ripped through you when you saw others jumping from the train onto a roof, but you took off and jumped as well. There were only a few scrapes on you when you rolled from your landing. Not bad you think as you watch the train go on.

“Initiates, here,” you hear a deep voice command. You and the others slowly walk over to where a man is standing on a ledge. “Now,” he yells.

As the crowd gathers in tight you’re pushed to the front. You couldn’t help but stare at the man all in black. He was so intimidating but so beautiful as well. You looked him over from large boots to his interestingly gelled hair and blushed when your eyes met.

“Hit your head to hard, Stiff,” he smirks as he jumps down and walks in front of the crowd. “I’m your leader, Eric, and I will be over your initiation process. Your first trial? You jump to get into Dauntless.”

You hear gasps as people look down. Someone asks, “What’s down there?”

Eric smirks again. You wish he’d quit that. It frightens you and turns you on at the same time. As if he heard you thoughts he steps up to you. “I think the Stiff should jump first.”  
You nod and swallow thickly as you make your way up onto the ledge he was previously on. You turn to face the scared crowd while you tried to control your breathing.

Eric starts towards you. “Do you need a push,” he asks. Before he can touch you you shake your head and leap off backwards.


	3. Chapter 3

Hard To Trust 3

The wind blew your hair around your face as you fell. You took that as a symbolization of the old you falling away as the new you took over. You were leaving your old life behind, your old memories and most especially you were leaving all the pain and hurt behind. You deserved this fresh start.

A giant net stopped your fall. As the exhilaration took over, you laughed. Suddenly the net dipped and you rolled off. Four was there to catch you. A smile started to form on your face but he looked at you sternly. You took it as a hint to pretend like you didn’t know him.

“First jumper,” he yelled. There were members of Dauntless all around you. “What’s your name,” Four asked.

You responded with something that came to mind when you jumped. Something freeing from your old life.

“(Y/N), first jumper,” Four shouted and applause chorused behind him.

Eric was the last to jump down, after all the initiates had jumped. You noticed Four didn’t help him from the net. You watched his every move as he told you all the immediate plans for the night. He nodded to you as he took the Dauntless-born on their way. You noticed a girl with bright pink hair scowl at you.

Four showed the transfers around the compound. You were not impressed with the dorm, you didn’t like the idea of having to sleep, use the restroom and shower with everyone. There were only a few minutes for everyone to change into their new Dauntless clothes and get rid of their old ones. Eric had been very specific about what time to bee at the dining hall.

You purposefully walked in last, hoping for a chance to talk to Four. No such luck. Looking around from the back of the hall you spot a girl you recognize from the transfers waving you over. As you walk toward her you can feel eyes on you. You look around and see the girl with pink hair glaring at you. You ignore her and keep walking.  
“Hey,” the girl who’d waved you over smiled. “I’m Alicia. It’s so nice to meet you.”

Alicia stood to hug you before you sat beside her. “Nice to meet you too,” you say as you awkwardly hug. “I’m (y/n).”

“You’ll have to excuse Alicia,” a blonde guy says from across the table. “As you can tell, she’s from Amity.”

Alicia giggled. “And Chris here is an Erudite.” She took your plate and filled it up with food then set it back in front of you. Chris smiled and nodded when you looked over at him. “I’ll get us some dessert when that dish comes around,” she smiled again.

The three of you talked and laughed during your meal. You finally see Four when he and Eric sit a few tables in front of you.

“Is it just me, or does Eric seem to stare a lot at (y/n),” Alicia asks.

Chris turns to look at Eric, “You know, I’ve noticed that as well.” Eric glares back at Chris, but his eyes seem to soften when he looks back at you.

When you and your new friends finish the chocolate cake, you risk a smile at Eric. Unfortunately he doesn’t react, but the girl with pink hair did.

“I don’t like the way you’re looking at Eric,” she snapped, jabbing a finger to your chest. You’d never been confronted before so all you could do was stare. Luckily Chris stepped in between you.

“There’s no reason to get angry,” he started. “No one’s doing anything wrong here.”

“Let’s all just be happy we’re here,” Alicia smiled and pulled you further from the girl.

You were able to walk back to the dorm in peace. As you left the dining hall you saw Eric and Four talking to the girl with pink hair. It didn’t look like a pleasant conversation.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Almost everyone was still out when you returned to the dorm so Alicia decided to take a shower. Being from Abnegation, you were uncomfortable being naked so you left your underwear and bra on during your own shower. You tried your best to hide behind a bed while you got dressed after. A bunch of the transfers started coming in while you hid. Still, one guy noticed your wet underwear on the floor.

“Oh, look at the Stiff,” he yelled, bringing unwanted attention to you. “(Y/N) is too embarrassed to shower naked,” he laughed. Some of the initiates laughed and teased you as they went to take their own showers or get ready for bed. You caught that the first jerks name was Zack.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
You’d been laying in bed for over an hour. Everyone else was still asleep, but you were used to starting your day early. So you were unable to fall back to sleep and didn’t know what to do.

Eventually 8 o'clock rolls around and Four comes in banging around to wake everyone up. He notices you sitting on your bed fully dressed and ready to start.

Walking up to you he sighs, “It’s gonna be a long day on no sleep.”

You get up and together you walk to the training center. “I slept,” you admit. “Just woke up to early.”

He looks down at you. “You’re free to come in here and practice before class.”

You playfully punch his arm. “Thanks Four, I believe I’ll start doing that.”

Four walks around making sure everything is ready for class. As he’s fidgeting with equipment you notice Eric glaring at him. Eric’s head snaps around when you say good morning to him. He looks you up and down, not saying a word.

At this time the other initiates were walking in so Eric distanced himself from you. He and Four told everyone to gather around while they started class. Alicia and Chris stood beside you while Zack and his minions stood behind you.

“Already getting friendly with the trainers,” he laughed in your ear. “I guess that’s why you won’t shower naked, they’re the only ones you want to see you naked.”  
You roll your eyes and “accidentally” backed up on his foot. He groaned and shoved your forward.

Eric stopped talking about the stages of initiation and yelled out, “Do we have a problem?” He stared you down as you and Zack both mumbled no.

Four took the group to the other side of the training room and started showing you how to punch bags. Alicia smiled at you as she picked a punching bag next to yours. “So what’s the deal with you and Zack?” she asked you. “Oh, he´s a bully, he’s just giving me a hard time, but I can handle him!” You answered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The rest of the morning training went by quickly with Eric’s eyes on you the entire time.

You all had a quick break for lunch and went back to the training room. Four showed you some fighting and defense moves then placed you in doubles so you could practice on each other.

You and Alicia were practicing together. The afternoon flew by and next thing you know Four was wrapping up the class.

“I hope you enjoyed today, cause tomorrow will be harder. You’re done for now, go get some dinner and rest up.” He said then left the training area.

You and Alicia were almost by the mess hall to grab some dinner when you felt a hand grab your arm.

“I told you that I don’t like the way you’re looking at Eric” the pink haired girl, who you found out to be named Amy, punched your face. It took a second to understand what was going on and you started to defend yourself. You were using everything that Four had taught you the previous year and you were beating the girl pretty bad.

“Initiate, what the hell is going on here?” Eric’s voice echoed through the hall and you stopped beating the girl in front of you.

“I’m just defending myself, sir. She attacked me.” You said explaining yourself.

“I don’t care who started, I’m ending it. You’re an initiate, you can’t go beating on Dauntless members! You’re going to be punished. And Amy, you will be punished as well. Pack your things, you’re leaving to the fence for two months. Initiate, you will be helping me set up the training room for two months, every morning, one hour before class starts.”

“Noooooo,” Amy screamed. “I don’t want her anywhere near you” she said.

“What part of ‘Go pack your things’ you don’t understand?” Eric taunted.

At that point there was a crowd around you and Four came quickly to your rescue.

“I’ll take the initiate from here Eric, (Y/N), come with me, I need to talk to you privately.” he said, pulling you from the crowd.

When he was sure you were alone he spoke. “(Y/N), what was that? I saw the fight, but why?” He asked.

“Toby, I really don’t know what’s wrong with that girl, she thinks I’m hitting on Eric! I’m just trying to go through initiation, I’m not trying anything.” you complained.

“Don’t call me Toby, not here. Amy is Eric’s girlfriend, at least the closest he has to one. If she thinks something is going on it’s because she knows him and how he acts. Stay away from him, he’s bad news. I heard your punishment, just do what he says and keep to yourself. I think he’s onto something, otherwise he wouldn’t send his own girlfriend to the fence for two weeks. Please, be careful. Come to me if you need anything. Stay far from him.” He was adamant about that.

You went straight to the dorms and Alicia was waiting for you. Unfortunately Zack was as well.

“So, stiff, you’re a pretty good fighter. I knew you were getting close to Eric to secure your place in Dauntless, but you impressed me. Beating up a dauntless member. Who knew you had it in you” Zack smirked.

“Just leave it, Zack, go find something else to do.” Chris defended.

You and Alicia showered and got ready for bed. You laid down thinking that at least this punishment will help you have something to do when you wake up earlier than the rest of the initiates. You had no idea how hard this was going to be on you.

Eric escorted Amy out of the compound to be sure she would be on the next train to the fence.

“Eric, please babe, let me stay. I can think of somethings I can do to make it up to you.” She said seductively.

“Amy, you’re not my girlfriend and you never were. We were just helping each other, friends with benefits. You don’t own me, no one does. I’m a leader, I do whatever I damn well please. And now I want you out of here. Now go.” He was harsh with her and just stood there as she left, sobbing.


	4. Chapter 4

Hard to Trust 4

The next day you were awake at 5:30 am. You knew you weren’t supposed to be at the training room until 7 for your punishment with Eric, but you recalled Four’s words telling you that you could use the training room whenever you wanted before everybody else arrived there. You took your time getting ready, grabbing some leggings and a large t shirt and went straight to the training room. As an abnegation girl you were not used to showing your curves, so the large t shirt was working well for you. When you arrived the place was deserted and you started to run a few laps. You were taken by surprise when someone started jogging along with you. You knew who it had to be.

“Initiate, what are you doing here so early? You’re not supposed to be here for another hour,” Eric said.

“I’m used to get up and early, sir. Back in my old faction I got up early to help around my house. Four told me it was ok for me to use the training room if I wanted to,” you tried to explain yourself.

“Ok,” the leader said. “What’s your deal with Four anyway? I noticed how preoccupied he was with you at the incident yesterday.”

“I’m sorry if your girlfriend doesn’t know how to control herself. I don’t know how she got the idea that I was somehow interested in you,” you were getting more furious by the second and unable to control your tongue.

“She’s not my girlfriend, you don’t have to worry about her. And that’s not the point. Answer my question,” He stated.

“I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful. Nobody is supposed to know, but Four and I grew up together back in abnegation. We’ve been best friends since we first started school and he helped me a lot when I was having some trouble last year,” you told him. “And I’m not worried about her.”

He was looking at you intensely while jogging, like he was trying to figure something out. “What happened,” he finally asked you.

“I’d rather not talk about it, sir,” you were afraid that he might snap at you. 

“You will tell me, one way or another. It doesn’t need to be today. Now come with me, your punishment is about to start.”

 

You and Eric placed all the mats on the room and set the knives and guns up, ready to practice. Everybody else started to arrive and Eric came close to you.

“You skipped breakfast, initiate. You have 20 minutes to go eat something. I don’t want my initiates passing out from starvation,” He ordered you.

Four was already by your side and heard Eric’s command, so he just winked at you and you walked out.

When you were about to leave, your favorite person in the world (note the sarcasm), Zack, came to you.

“Already being the trainers favorite, huh stiff? That’s so unfair, to get special treatment,” Zack provoked you.

“If you think that dragging mats all over the place is special treatment, please, feel free to take my place tomorrow morning. I will be more than happy to let you have that special treatment,” You spat at him and left. After your breakfast you came back to the training room and started your day.

 

The first week was already halfway through and you were getting used to Eric’s manners. He was hard on you, and on the rest of the class, but you noticed he aimed his anger more at you. You had never seen the guy smile, so you just treated him with respect and kept to yourself like Four suggested.

One day you were practicing shooting and were unable to hit the target, even once. You looked around and Four was helping a girl from Erudite on her stance, you sighed and felt a presence behind you.

“Your stance is wrong, initiate,” Eric whispered in your ear. You could feel his warm breath on your neck and suddenly you felt his hands on your hips. Your heart beat increased and you couldn’t think straight. He fixed your feet with his own, moved your body a little bit and grabbed the gun with his hands over yours. “Let’s try together, and then you will be on your own. Now shoot.”

You pulled the trigger and hit the center of the target. When you looked at him he was already walking away. You felt cold without his warm body behind yours.  
You didn’t miss the target after that. That night you laid down on your cot asking yourself what was going on with you, were you attracted to Eric? Why was he making you feel that way? You fell asleep thinking about those beautiful blue eyes that were haunting you.

The rest of the week went by fast and Zack’s verbal abuse on you just increased more and more and by the end of first week you beyond hated the guy.

“Ok, listen up,” Eric’s voice was loud and strong. “Today is going to be your first fight day, we need to evaluate how ready you are for personal combat. Also by the end of the day your scores will be up and you will have a clue of how you are doing in your training. After your rankings you can go have some fun because you will have the day off tomorrow.” The group cheered. “First fight, Chris versus Jonathan,” Eric called out.

The fights were going well and your friend Chris had beaten up the guy named Jonathan very easily. Alicia had a hard time fighting a Candor boy named Stuart and ended up knocked out and in the infirmary. You were so worried about your friend but you couldn’t leave the room until your fight.

And it suddenly came  
“Next fight Y/N versus Zack.”  
You were stunned, how were you supposed to fight a guy twice your size? You started to freak out when Four approached you and grabbed your arm.  
“Remember everything we trained on back in abnegation. You can do this, you’re strong and he’s not as trained as you are. Focus on everything I taught you, wait for him to attack and react,” He advised you.

You stepped in the ring under Eric’s stares and got in your stance, as Four predicted, Zack attacked first. You ditched his blows and managed to hit him in the face. He punched you in the stomach and you winced in pain, he approached you and you hit his knee. When he fell down you straddled him and started to punch him in the face. All you could think about was all the bullying he did to you, the nicknames he called you and how he embarrassed you in front of everybody. The next thing you knew, Four was grabbing your arms and pulling you from Zack’s unconscious body.

You couldn’t believe what just happened, but most of all you couldn’t believe how you lost control over your anger.

When the fights were over Eric gathered everybody so he could post the rankings.  
You and Chris stood nervously together, excited to see your rankings, but worried for Alicia at the same time. You laced your arm in his and waited for the rankings:

Chris  
Joey  
Y/N  
Amber  
Paul

And you just zoned out, you were third. You were almost having a panic attack when Chris elbowed you. Alicia was 15, and there were only 20 of you.

You and Chris went to the infirmary together still with your arms locked together. When the two of you reached the infirmary, Alicia was already up and good to go. Kate, the doctor in charge, told you that she just had a mild blow to the head, but everything was fine. Kate looked at you and said, “So, you’re the famous Y/N, it’s very nice to finally meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. Famous, me?, No, I’m just a regular former abnegation girl,” You said wanting to disappear.

“Oh, ok, it’s just that my friend talks a lot about you, so I was curious to meet you,” She complemented.

“Who’s your friend? Who’s talking about me, Four,” You asked.

“Eric” she said and left the room leaving you with your face frozen and your two best friends looking at you with their jaws dropped.

The three of you had dinner talking and laughing. Alicia was sad because she had missed the fight you had with Zack and said that she was at the infirmary when he woke up and he was furious that “the stiff” knocked him out.

“So, are we talking about what Kate said? Eric has been talking about you, girl.” Alicia said.

You fidgeted with your fingers feeling excited and embarrassed at the same time. Eric talked about you to his friend, but why? What did he said? The questions kept playing through your mind.

After dinner you decided to hang out at the pit as you had the day off the next day. You were talking to your friends when Four and two other guys approached you.

“Hey guys, these are my friends Zeke and Warren. Zeke was in my initiation class, but Warren is an initiate this year with the dauntless born. Guys this is Y/N, my friend that I told you about. And these are Chris and Alicia, also initiates.”

“Nice to meet you” Zeke said. “We usually have some parties at my place, just to play games, like Dauntless or Candor, or truth or dare as you please. I will let you know when the next one comes up, you’re all invited.”

Then the other guy took your hand and kissed it. “Four, you never mentioned how beautiful she is. My name is Warren and I would like to take you out anytime you want.” Warren was hitting on you did not even care when Four stepped up, taking your hand from his claws.

“She’s not for you, man, just leave it.” Four said to his friend.

You all stayed there talking and having fun. Warren was flirting with you. Everyone was talking and you were having a very pleasant time. You felt like someone was watching you and when you looked up at the balcony you saw Eric staring at you. He seemed very angry, but you weren’t doing anything wrong, and your trainer was right by your side to tell you if you were doing something wrong. Eric’s anger looking at you was bothering you so much that you grabbed Four’s arm and pulled him away from the others.

“Four, what’s wrong with Eric? Why does he seems so mad?”

“I told you he’s bad news. He’s always mad at anything involving me, we used to be friends at the beginning of initiation, but he became very competitive and I was better than him. So he started to hate me, even more when I beat him up and ended up as first in initiation and he was second.” Four explained.

“He asked me about us, how we were close and why. I told him you’re my best friend in the whole world and that you helped me when I was sick.” You admitted.  
“You told him about Jordan?” Your friend asked.

“No, he asked but I didn’t want to talk about it.” You said sadly.

“There’s no time for sadness right now, you are having a good time, so let’s continue.” Your friend was holding you making you sure that you were safe here.

Eric was pissed at all the attention you were getting from the guys around you.


	5. Chapter 5

Hard to Trust 5

On your day off you managed to sleep until later because you were so exhausted.

Every morning during your punishment, Eric’s hand insisted on brushing against yours. For the first few times you convinced yourself that it was a coincidence, after that you started to feel a little different. He kept staring at you with some inquisitive eyes.

“Are you ok?” you finally ask. Your abnegation roots made you care about others regardless if they were Dauntless leaders, and you realized you cared about the ruthless leader.  
“Yeah.” He answered you, thinking to himself that nobody really cared about his well being, not the way you were doing.

Every chance he got he tried to ask you about what happened in the past that made Four leave to help you, and every time your answer was the same. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

His mood swings were driving you nearly insane, one day he was trying to push you to tell him about your past, the next he wouldn’t even looking at you.

After a month in dauntless you could feel your body getting stronger, your fighting skills becoming better. And your punishment with Eric just a month away from ending.

In the blink of an eye, your last month was up. That day he was particularly harsh, making sure you placed all the mats by yourself and since you were early, as usual, he invited you for a run outside the compound. Initiates could only leave the compound with trainers or the supervision of dauntless members, so he assured you you were fine with him.  
The two of you were running when at a distance you saw someone looking exactly like Jordan in a dauntless uniform.

You thought you were seeing things since you were almost sure he defected to amity. He talked about amity all the time when you were together, he loved the idea of living there.  
As you got a little closer you were sure it was him. You started to shake like a leaf and your legs were failing you. You stopped trying to breathe and then Eric noticed your state.  
“We’re not done initiate.” He stated.

“Erh… Can we go back, please?” You pleaded.

Noticing that you were not ok he back-tracked to where you had stopped. “Y/N, are you ok? You seem like you just saw a ghost.”

“I think I just did,” you panted. “Can we just go back, please, I’m not feeling good.” You asked one more time.

“All right, initiate, but only this once. Weakness is not rewarded here in dauntless.” Cruel Eric was a bitch.

When you came back to the training room the others were already arriving, Eric came close to you and said “Will you tell me what happened back there?”  
“I will tell you, I promise, just not now.” You assured him.

At lunch, when you got the chance, you told Four about seeing Jordan. “Is he dauntless? You would tell me if he was here, wouldn’t you?” You asked your friend.

“He’s not here Y/N, that’s all I can tell you. I promised your father I would not tell you where Jordan is.” He said to you.

“Four, what does my father have to do with it? Why can’t you tell me?” You were already bursting into tears.

“Darling, you were in bad shape because of this guy, your father doesn’t want him near you, and I don’t want him near you. Look how he’s making you feel again, he doesn’t deserve you. I will protect you, I promise.” He was sure about what he was saying to you.

You realized that you wanted to live your new life without thinking about Jordan and decided to give a leap of faith in Four.

Eric was at the pit with some friends and he over heard Zack and Stuart talking about you. He came closer to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“I heard she had a boyfriend in abnegation and he left her. He defected to another faction leaving her behind, and she almost lost it. Oh, she thinks she’s special, but not even her boyfriend wanted to be with her. She will pay for knocking me out, I will manage to find her alone sometime and I’ll kill her.” Zack said to his friend.

“Initiate, is that a threat? Planning on attacking someone is an act of cowardice. Do you know what happens in dauntless to cowards?” Eric blurted out.

“No, sir, sorry that’s not what I meant.” Zack said and left with his friend without another word.

Eric was fuming and went to look for his nemesis Four. He found him with Zeke and told him what he overheard the guys saying.

“We should be extra careful with those two initiates, they will only bring us trouble.” He finished.

Both men agreed to pay extra attention to everything regarding that guy. Four was extra concerned about you and what Zack could do to hurt you.

The next morning you were already in the training room when Eric came in.

“So you had a boyfriend back at abnegation and the stupid guy left you behind?” He said mocking you.

“Who told you that?” You questioned. When he only stared at you, you said, “It is a private issue, one I really don’t want to talk about.” Your eyes were glued to the floor trying to avoid the tears. He was mocking you, with something that used to hurt you the most. You wanted to run and hide in a dark place, you were feeling weak and vulnerable and you didn’t want Eric to see you like this. Especially not now that you were more comfortable with him, and clearly having feelings for him that you weren’t understanding yet.

He came closer and pulled your chin up with his fingers so he could look you in the eyes. “Stop being so weak, you’re dauntless now. That’s in the past. That person clearly didn’t deserve you. You’re just feeling like this because you didn’t find a man who will show you how to feel secure and safe. Who would never leave you. Now suck it up initiate, training is about to start.”

Your knees were feeling weak, you couldn’t figure it out if it was because of his hand on your face or his harsh words on you. You dried your tears and waited until everybody was in the training room to practice.

Before he left he approached you and told you something about a friend of his. “You know what’s funny, I have a good friend in a situation like that. He was in my initiation class, he and his girlfriend promised each other they would be together but when he defected to dauntless she didn’t follow him and now he’s looking all over the city for her. He works at the fence, nice guy, but sad.”

The next morning training flew by. In the afternoon you were training on punching bags when Eric entered the room and gathered all of you together.

“Initiates, tomorrow is visiting day, have a good rest tonight and don’t get to attached with your family, it might be the last time you will see them. You’re good for the day, get out.” He barked.

You spent the night excited about seeing your parents and siblings, you were missing them a lot.

The next morning you, Alicia and Chris headed together to the pit to see your families. Chris was the one to spot his parents, he turned to Alicia and said, “I want you to meet my parents, they will love you.” And left.

You held your friend smiling and asked, “So, are you guys together? When did it happen?”

“Last night, and yes” she answered blushing.

“Oh my God, Aly! I’m so happy for you guys, my best friends are a couple, yayyyyy!” You said.

“Look that’s my mom”, she said and ran.

You were so happy for them that you didn’t noticed the bulking figure by your side.

“Your family is not here, initiate?” Eric said with his arms behind his back.

“Not yet, maybe they won’t show up” you had just stopped talking when you saw your mom. She was smiling at you and you couldn’t contain your excitement.

“There she is, excuse me.” You politely said and went running to hug your mom. You two sat in a bench close by and you noticed Eric on the balcony watching you.

You and you mom were happy to see each other. “How’s everybody? Dad, Caleb, Bea ???”

“They are good honey, but look at you, my beautiful baby, my first born,. You are so gorgeous, you know that? Your father couldn’t be here, you know, leader commitments and Caleb and Beatrice are at school. But tell me about you! How are you doing in training? Who was that man talking to you?”

“Too many questions, mom,” you smiled. “Training is hard, but it is good, Tobias helps me a lot.” You weren’t able to finish what you where saying when you heard a familiar voice shouting.

“Well, well, well, is that my beautiful fiancé? I was desperately looking for you and I didn’t know you were here for me!” Jordan made his way towards you and your mom. You stopped breathing and you couldn’t look anywhere besides your moms eyes.

He was standing beside you. You started to hyperventilate and your heart was beating in your throat. You don’t know how but in seconds Four appeared and tried to push Jordan away, the commotion had started.

“C’mon man, let’s go, she doesn’t want to talk to you.” Four said.

“Let her speak for herself. Babe, you don’t want me anymore? All this time I only thought about you, how much I missed you and how much I wanted you.” Jordan said.

“You left me! You promised you’d be with me and you left, without another word! You asked me to marry you and the next day you disappeared! I hate you, you broke me, you made me feel bad about myself when you were the bad one! You are a despicable, disgusting, horrible person.” You managed to say, not wiping the tears that ran freely down your checks.

Seeing everything that was happening, Eric came towards you. “What’s going on here? Jordan, when did you get back from the fence, man?” Eric was fond of the guy, seriously?  
“Eric, my man, this is my fiancé, Y/N, I told you about her. I finally found her” Jordan answered.

“What the fuck?” You screamed “You never searched for me. Why are you lying? You left without further notice and now you claim you were looking for me? Seriously? Go fuck yourself, you asshole.”

You grabbed your mom’s arm and left towards the hall. Jordan tried to follow but Four and Eric stopped him.

“Four, go check on her, I need to clear some things up with Jordan here.”

Four found you storming towards Max’s office. You knew you should never bring your father’s position into your life in dauntless, but now you needed help. The kind of help only Max could provide.

“What are you planning to do, Y/N, are you going to ask Max to throw Jordan at the chasm?” Four was trying to make a joke to lighten the air.

“I’m going to ask him to leave Jordan at the fence forever.” You were not thinking straight.

“So you’re going to bring your dad’s position into this, sweetheart?” Your mom was trying to put some sense in your mind. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid, don’t cause any trouble for your father, honey.” Your mother was right and you knew that bringing Max to this situation would be silly. “I better get going, I’m sorry I can’t stay any longer, sweetheart, I know you need me right now, but rules are rules, right? I’m sure Tobias will take good care of you and he will help you. I love you, never forget that.” Your mom kissed your forehead, held you close and left.

Four held you while you cried a little more.

“C’mon, Y/N, you’re staying at my place tonight, I think it won’t be safe for you to stay at the dorms. Jordan knows he can find you there.” Four took your hand and lead the way to his place. He insisted you take the bed and he would sleep on the floor, but you couldn’t let that happen. You told him to share the bed with you as you did countless times when you were kids. He was reluctant but ended up sharing the bed with you.


	6. Chapter 6

Hard to Trust 6

The next day you woke up and Four was already taking a shower. You got up, got dressed and waited for your friend. When he came out of the bathroom you told him that you were heading to the training room for your punishment with Eric.

All the way to the training room you were worried he would ask you about Jordan. What were you supposed to tell him? When you entered the training room Eric was already there.  
“Initiate, right on time, let’s get started.” He grinned. You were dragging the mats and Eric was staring at you, nothing new with that. “So, you’re Andrew Prior’s daughter, I didn’t know that.” He searched your face for any emotions. “How are you feeling? Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?” He asked you.

“What do you want me to say? That he was the love of my life and he decided to destroy me for fun? And yes, I’m Andrew Prior’s daughter, is that a problem?” You were already holding back your tears. Why did you have to be so weak and always when Eric was around?

“I never thought that among all people, you were the one Jordan always talked about. The beautiful girl he was so desperately in love with, the city council president’s daughter.” He shook his head.

“Is he gone?” You asked.

“Not yet, he has to be back at the fence tomorrow morning.” He answered you.

You finished your punishment as your class was arriving for training. All day all you could think about was the mixed feelings you were having.

Alicia came over and held you close. “I’m so sorry, hon. I saw everything that happened and I couldn’t come any closer. Chris was worried as well, we tried to find you later but we couldn’t, and the guy came to the dorms to look for you. So, it was better you hid last night. Where were you?” She asked.

“I stayed at Four’s place, he thought Jordan would try to find me at the dorms. Apparently he was right.” You confided in your friend about your past with Jordan and everything he did to you, so you knew her concern was genuine.

“We ran into Zeke last night and he told us that Jordan used to bang everything that moved back in his initiation. I’m sorry to tell you that, but you need to know.” Your friend told you.

“What does he want with me then? To finish destroying me? To humiliate me again?” At that point you were angry and sad.

After dinner you decided that it was for the best just go to sleep, but Chris didn’t want you to go to the dorms by yourself. He convinced you to stay with him and Alicia at the pit for a few minutes. You felt relieved when you saw Warren coming toward you. At least he could make you feel good about yourself. You were talking to him for almost fifteen minutes and you didn’t notice Jordan approaching you.

“So you are already cheating on me? Let me guess, you moved on?” Jordan said, smiling at you.

“I’m not cheating, because we stopped being a thing when you abandoned me, so yes, I did move on. Now leave me alone.” You spit out.

Warren was trying to protect you by putting his body in front of you, Jordan was staring at him with disgust.

“Your new boyfriend here won’t stop me. Not even Four with that crush he always had on you. I won’t give up on you, Y/N. I will fight for you.” And he left.

You told Warren about who he was and what happened and why you could only be his friend at this point, because you were not ready to engage into romantic affairs with anyone right now.

Warren said he understood and walked you back to the dorms. He kissed your forehead and said good night.

The next two days were calm, everything seemed to be back to normal now that Jordan was back to the fence. The first chance you got, you talked to Four. You told him what happened when Jordan ambushed you and Warren at the pit.

“Four, he said something that got me thinking, he said you had a crush on me, like always did. Is that true?” He was your best friend, and you never thought about him in other ways.

“Y/N I always cared about you. I told you I will take care of you, you just have to let me. But now I want you to focus on your training, even if I wanted to be with you right now, we can’t. It’s against the rules.”

“No, Four, you can’t possibly be interested in me, you’re my friend. I care a lot about you, but only as my friend.” You tried to explain to him that he was just a brotherly love, nothing more than that.

“It’s Eric, isn’t it? You’re having feelings for Eric. Y/N, I told you to stay away from him. He’s not good for you, he doesn’t love anyone besides himself! Look what he did to Amy, he used her and as soon as a new prey showed up he got rid of her. He will do the same with you, you’re disposable to him.” Four was upset and you could see it in his eyes.

“I don’t have feelings for Eric. Four, he’s a leader and is supervising our training, that’s all. And you said it is against the rules. Can I ask you why?” You were in fact curious.

“A few years ago, before my initiation class, there was this guy, he was a leader, the one Eric replaced, he had an affair with an initiate. A very naive girl from Amity. She fell in love with him, but he was just playing her. When she found out he wasn’t who she thought he was, she jumped off the chasm. Since then it’s a rule that initiates can’t have relationships with trainers, leaders or even dauntless members. If Max is aware of any relationships he will demote the members and the initiate will became factionless. So stay away from him, I don’t want to have to bring you food outside.” He joked.

“C’mon, you have training to do.” He was clearly sad about you saying the he was just a friend, and you realized the he indeed had feelings for you. He lead you to the training room for your few last days of stage one.


	7. Hard to Trust 7

Hard to Trust 7

Before you knew it, it was the final day of stage one. The following day your rankings would be up, and you and your friends were getting ready for the final fights. Chris was fighting Zack which made you excited to see the asshole get beat up again. After a second blow he was done and you were asking yourself if he wasn’t faking because no one would be knocked down by that slow punch. You were about to fight Stuart, one of Zack’s minions and you were worried about it.

He dodged your first punch and kicked you on your ankle, when you fell he straddle you and punched you twice on your temple. It was enough to knock you out. You woke up less that a minute later. Stuart was standing by your side and Four was coming to help you. He declared Stuart the winner and asked you if you were ok. You sat down on a bench and drank some water. Eric kept staring at you from afar but didn’t say anything to you.

Alicia, who managed to win her fight, was with you. Everybody was released and the two of you decided to head back to the dorms. The place was deserted and Alicia invited you to go with her to find Chris at the mess hall.

You thanked her and told her that you would take advantage of the emptiness of the dorms to take a shower in peace. She asked you if you would be fine on your own and you told her you would. You hugged her then went to grab your things for some good relaxing time in the shower. You looked around and decided it was a good time for a real shower, with not even your underwear on since there was no one around, so you could take your time. You took all your clothes off and wrapped a towel around your naked body and headed to the shower area.

You turned on the hot water and let it rain down on your body. You took your time washing your hair. It felt like an eternity since you had had a decent shower.

When you finished, you grabbed your towel, wrapped it around your body, and the moment you turned to leave the area there was someone at the doorway blocking your exit.

Zack loomed as you tried to leave. Those sparkling blue eyes were almost beautiful if they weren’t evil.

“I must say you’re beautiful, stiff. You got some good curves on you. Why don’t you give me a chance, I can make you happy. I know I will leave you with a smile on your face.”

You were trying everything you could to get out of there but Zack wasn’t going to let you. He came towards you and pulled your towel away, when you tried to get your towel back he throw the first punch at you and you screamed loud.

“Stay away from me.” You kept screaming but he was still punching you and you started to feel weak.

 

Alicia was going to the cafeteria when Four was coming her way.

“Have you seen Y/N?” He asked.

“She stayed in the dorms to take a shower, she wanted to enjoy the emptiness of the place.” Alicia answered.

Suddenly both of them heard screams coming from the dorms.

“Go find Eric, NOW INITIATE.” Four screamed and ran towards the dorms.

 

You were lying on the ground feeling very dizzy and your vision was blurred. Zack was over you and you couldn’t understand what was happening, but you knew he was talking. His hands were all over your body as he took advantage because you couldn’t move. He placed his hands around your breasts and moaned. You took that time to gather all strength you got and knee him in the groin. You tried to crawl away as he was wincing in pain, but he grabbed your ankle and pulled you back to him.

“You know, I still can’t believe you knocked me out, but you’re about to pay for it.”

He punched your face one more time and you felt your senses going away. You were already weak from your fight with Stuart and now Zack’s punches were kicking your ass.

You heard Zack rambling something as he was unzipping his pants. The panic you were feeling was giving place to the darkness that was consuming you. You were ready for your destiny, whatever it would be. The last thing you knew Zack was being pulled away from you and a lot of screaming was heard. Then the darkness took over you.

 

When Eric entered the dorms he saw Four beating Zack to a pulp and your naked body down on the bathroom floor. He ran toward you and picked you up. Alicia was with him and she grabbed a towel and covered you so Eric could take you to the infirmary.

He was running down the hallways with you in his arms, he was desperate about the condition he found you. You felt something warm wrap around you and you snuggled to his chest. He smelled so good that you thought you were dead and in heaven. You could barely hear what he was whispering in your ear.

“Stay with me, babe, don’t you dare to die on me. Just hang in there.”

 

You woke up in a cold room and the light hurt your eyes as you tried to open them. You forced your vision a little bit more and looked around to see where you were. You were shocked when you saw Eric sleeping in a chair beside your bed. You tried to stand up but groaned in pain.

“What are you doing, initiate? You’re not supposed to leave the bed.” He stood up and came closer to you holding your hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Like someone beat the crap out of me. What are you doing here?” The feeling of his hand on yours was calming you and you held his fingers like it was the only thing keeping you on Earth.

“You’re my initiate, I had to make sure you would be ok.” He said.

“How long have I been here?” You asked.

“Two days. You’re friends stopped by to check on you but you weren’t awake.”

“You stayed here the whole time?” You stared at him.

“Four wasn’t too fond of the idea, but yes. I couldn’t leave without knowing if you were ok.” The leader said.

“Where is Zack? What happened?” You couldn’t remember much so you were hoping Eric would tell you something.

“What do you remember?” He asked you, rubbing your hand.

“I remember Zack beating me up, taking my towel away… Oh my God, did he? I can’t remember if he did.” You started to cry and hated yourself for being so vulnerable in front of Eric.

“No, he didn’t, Four stopped him before he could do anything, I would kill him if he did something like that to you. But Four beat him up really bad. He was here at the infirmary, but in a different area. When he woke up he escaped. We have people searching for him over the entire compound. Don’t worry, I’m here to protect you. He won’t get near you again.” He noticed the worried look on your face.

Before anything else was said Kate came in to check your vitals.

“You’re awake! How are you feeling, any pain?” She approached you and Eric stepped away. You silently shook your head as she checked you.

“So, you got a bad beating, girl, but your vitals are good. No broken bones so when you feel good you can leave.”

“My head hurts, a lot.” You said to her.

“I will give you some pain killers. Your friend stopped by and left some clothes for you, I hope you don’t mind but she helped me dress you, cause you arrived here with no clothes on.”

“Thank you, Kate, I really appreciate all you have done for me.” You told her.

At that moment Four entered the room and looked relieved to see you awake. He came to your side and you held him close, letting your emotions take over again.

“Kate said she’s good to go. Max thinks she better stay at my place until we find Zack.” Eric informed Four as you cried into his shoulder.

“You don’t have to worry Eric, I know you have other commitments. She can stay with me.” Four was trying his best to take control of the situation.

“That was not a request, Four. She’s staying with me, period. I will ask Kate for your discharge and we can get going.” He said to you and left the area to go find Kate.

“He’s such a dick, I really wanted to take care of you. Please promise me you will be careful around him. I have no saying in this.” He was genuine worried about you.

“Don’t worry, Four. I will be fine. If Zack didn’t kill me it won’t be Eric who will!” Your lousy attempt of joke wasn’t helping at the moment.

Eric came back with the bottle of pain killers that Kate prescribed to you and helped you stand up to go to his place. You said good bye to Four and asked him to tell Alicia and Chris that you were ok.

Eric stomped out of the infirmary and you were trying to follow him, but couldn’t keep up with his speed. You were in too much pain to run through dauntless hallways right now.

“Can’t you walk?” The cruel leader was back. At one moment he seemed concerned for you, the next one not so much.

“I can, just not at the same pace as you.” You had barely finished talking when Eric picked you up bridal style and hurried through the halls with you.

“It’s the second time this week you carried me.” You said placing your arms around his neck and laying your head on his shoulder.

“You said you didn’t remember.” He answered you, slowing down.

“I don’t, I remember passing out and waking up in someone’s arms. You just confirmed it was you.” You chuckled.

“Don’t get used to it, initiate. In both occasions I needed to be in a hurry. I can’t take the chance of someone seeing where I’m taking you. For your safety it’s better if no one knows your staying at my place..”

“Thank you, sir. This meds are strong, I’m feeling a little tipsy.” Those were your last words before passing out in his arms again.


	8. Hard To Trust Chapter 8

You woke up in a strange room laid down in a bed that wasn’t your cot. The sheets and covers were cozy and you didn’t feel like standing up, but you needed to use the bathroom so you started to move and winced a little in pain. Eric entered the room when he heard you.

“Easy, initiate! What do you think you’re doing?” He asked you.

“I need to use the bathroom. Do you think you could help me?” You pleaded.

He came close to you and helped you walk to the bathroom.

“Can I take a shower? Wait, I don’t have any clean clothes.” You said looking at him.

“You can have one of my t-shirts,. Here.” He handed you a clean t-shirt. “I’m going to the dorms right now and ask Alicia to get some clean clothes for you while you’re in the shower. I’ll be right back.” He left and you took your clothes off and entered the shower.

You took a long soothing shower, dried yourself off, and put on Eric’s shirt. On you it fell to your mid thigh.

When you opened the door Eric was already back and came toward you, your legs failed you and you grabbed onto his arms for support. Eric grabbed your waist and held you close. By instinct you placed your hands around his neck, your noses almost touching. You were looking in each others eyes and you bit your lower lip in anticipation. Eric pulled you closer, if that was possible, not breaking eye contact once. You felt like you couldn’t breathe with his eyes on yours, the heat on your body by the way he held you close to him. You felt his chest pressed against yours and you wanted to kiss him so bad when someone knocked on the door. Eric sighed, placed you on the bed and left to open the door.

Max and Four came in to check on you. Max assured you that they would find Zack and you would be safe.

“You missed the first day of second stage, but tomorrow you’re allow to go. Eric will take you there. Now just try to recover and we’ll see you tomorrow.” Max said before exiting the room.

“Are you ok being here, Y/N?” Four asked you. “You can stay at my place if you want.”

“She’s fine, Four, I already told you that is not debatable. She’s staying here.” Eric stated.

“I’m ok, Four. Don’t worry about me, I will be fine.” You smiled.

After Max and Four left Eric came toward you to set the pillows behind your back and make you more comfortable. He brought some food from the cafeteria for you and placed the tray on the night stand beside his bed. He helped you sit and placed the tray on your lap so you could eat.

“Can I ask you something?” He said to you.

“Sure” you answered as you took a bite.

“Do you love him? I mean, do you love Jordan?”

Eric’s question surprised you. “Ehmm, why… no.. No, not anymore. I used to, a lot, he was everything to me, and then he decided to leave without telling me. He hurt me, He broke me. He destroyed my heart. I don’t love him anymore, actually I don’t feel anything for him, he doesn’t deserve that. Why do you ask?” You retorted.

“He always talked about how much he loved you. How different you were from the girls he has been with. That no one will never be as good as you, and now I understand him. I don’t want you near him. Or Warren, or Four.” He then got up and left his bedroom.

You sat with your jaw dropped. What does he mean by that? That you’re not supposed to be near any guy, not even your friends? But why?

He came back later to get your tray and give you the pain killers. You wanted to ask him what he meant, but he didn’t give you a chance. As soon as the painkillers started to kick in you felt yourself drifting off to sleep. Before you closed your eyes, you asked, “Eric, can you stay?”

“I’m not going anywhere, I will be on the couch. Call me if you need anything.” He said.

“No, can you stay here? Can you sleep here, with me?” You pleaded.

He laid down next to you but kept his distance. You drifted to a dreamless sleep.

You woke up feeling very warm, your nose was snuggling Eric’s chest, his arms were wrapped around you. One of your arms was under you and the other gently placed on Eric’s chest, you moved your hand caressing the hair on his bare chest.

“Good morning. Are you comfortable there?” He asked groggily.

“I’m sorry.” You said already managing to stand up and heading toward the bathroom. You got ready and went back to the room to wait for Eric. To your surprise he was already fully dressed and waiting for you.

“How are you feeling? Any pain?” He asked you.

“No, I’m much better, thanks for asking.”

He took you to breakfast and lead you to the room where you were supposed to start second stage, as you were already one day behind schedule. As you looked around the waiting room, you saw your friends already there waiting for their turn.

“Today you’re going to face your worst fears. All your class already started yesterday, but, don’t worry, you’re not far behind.” Eric explained and then he left the room leaving you with your friends.

You sat down next to Alicia, she seemed pleased to see you, but also seemed a little frightened.

“How are you felling, sweetie? I went to the infirmary to see you but you were asleep.” She said hugging you.

“I’m doing better, thanks. Eric told me you found me with him and Four. Thanks for helping me.” You said hugging her harder.

“Yes, it was on my fears yesterday, finding you, and not being able to help.” She started tearing up.

The door opened and Four looked right at you.

“Y/N, as you’re one day behind, you’re first today.” He said.

You entered the room and he motioned for you to sit in a chair that looked exactly like your aptitude test chair. Eric was standing in the corner, just observing. You sat down and Four came your way with a syringe in his hands.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked you and you nodded. “This is a serum that will create an illusion. Your fears will appear in this simulation. To exit the simulation you will have to face it or try to control your heart beat. Usually people have 10 to 15 fears, so try to stay calm and you’ll do fine.” He explained to you as he injected the serum in your neck.

You closed your eyes and let the darkness engulf you.

One by one you faced your worst fears:

Spiders

Claustrophobia – fear of confinement in small spaces

Drowning

Zack attacking you

Needles

Darkness

Being depressed again

And the worst one, the last fear: After you fought against your depression where you were back at your room at abnegation, the darkness came over you again. When you opened your eyes, you were in a large room and all the people you cared about were around you. Your parents, your siblings, Four, Alicia, Chris, Warren, Eric and finally Jordan.

Each of them were saying horrible things to you. Your father said that you were nothing but a spoiled child and that he and your mother didn’t love you. Your siblings looking at you with disgust. Alicia and Chris were laughing at you and saying that they never wanted to be your friends, that they couldn’t stand being around you. Four looked at you and said that he regretted coming back to help you, the he never loved you. Jordan came to you and said that he left you because you were not worth loving and that he despises you. Warren told you you were just a distraction to him, that he never would get involved with someone like you. Then something you never expected happened, Eric, the one you didn’t even know you were having feelings for, his words were the worst.

“You’re pathetic, stiff. Do you think I care about you? You’re an initiate, a bad one at that. I took you to my place last night only because Max told me to. You’re nothing to me. Loser.”

You woke up desperate, crying and feeling diminished. Four came to you and Eric looked in shock realizing that he was on your fear landscape as your worst fear.

“Y/N, That was just a simulation, you’re fine, just breathe.” Four said to you.

You couldn’t believe all this cruelty and you couldn’t control yourself, you just started screaming. “Do you think this is funny? Somehow this is amusing to you? Is that what you call being brave? You’re wrong! Messing with people’s feelings is cruel, this is cowardice.” You ran to grab the door knob not allowing anyone near you.

You ran until you reached the chasm. You sat down on the edge and let the tears run free. You were there for almost an hour until someone approached you and sat down right next to you. You were feeling drained. When you looked up you met Four’s eyes.

“Are you feeling any better?” He said in a low voice.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, I was terrified. That was really intense. I’m ok, I’m just trying to deal with all of that.” You said.

“I know and I’m sorry about that. C’mon, lets go to the cafeteria and get you something to eat. And by the way, they found Zack, he’s at the dauntless prison. You can go back to the dorms today.” He pulled you up and placed his arm around your shoulder and walked with you to the mess hall.

You two ate in silence until Four told you he had to go to work in the control room. When you were leaving the cafeteria you felt a hand on your shoulder and turned around.

“Initiate, a word please.” Eric had that ice cold look in his eyes, but you agreed talking to him. You knew better than to turn away from him.

“It gets better with time, you know, the fear landscape. I just wanted to make sure you’re ok.” He said to you.

“Thanks, Eric, I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine.” You answered him. Surprised that he cared.

“You have two weeks of this and then it’s over, but you have to improve your time to go up on rankings. I think I can help you with that.”he said.

“I would love that, thank you.” You were excited to have a little help with your fears, but most of all you were excited to have some alone time with Eric.

“Meet me at the fear landscape room at 8pm. Oh, I don’t know if you heard, but they arrested Zack today, so you must go back to the dorms.” And with that he left.

For the rest of the week you met Eric at the fear landscape room where he helped you face your fears, some days he was harsh and impatient, the others he was nice and supportive.


	9. Chapter 9

Hard to Trust 9

 

On your final week, three days before your initiation was over, Warren approached you in the cafeteria.

“Hey Y/N, how are you doing? So tonight there’s a club opening at the pit and I wanted to know if you want to go with me.” He said a little shy.

“Warren, really? I would love to!” You said deciding to give this guy a chance. You didn’t know what your relationship with Eric was. You were close. He constantly stared at you. He even got extremely close once, with your noses touching, almost like the time when you were staying at his place, but he seemed to control himself and just left you wanting more.

Later on you and Alicia went to a few stores to find some clothes for the club opening. She and Chris were going as well. You picked up a black short dress that highlighted your round butt and showed a little cleavage from your plump breasts.

“Honey, you are going to kill those guys at the club, I bet Warren won’t be able to control himself seeing you dressed like that.” Your friend said. You went back to the dorms and started to get ready for the party.

Warren came to pick you up and you and your friends decided to go together to the club. You, Warren, Alicia and Chris arrived there and you noticed a few heads turning when you entered the room. You took a look at the place and saw Four coming towards you. Scanning the room you found Eric hanging at the bar and to your surprise Amy was back and all over him.

The moment he saw you he pushed her away and stared at you with his jaw dropped to the floor. You couldn’t help but smile.

When Four was in front of you Warren said he was going to get a few drinks and left you with your oldest friend for a while.

“Y/N, you look amazing, wow.” He stuttered.

“Thanks Four. You clean up nicely yourself.” You said. He then came closed and kissed you on the cheek making you blush. Your thoughts were interrupted when Amy came toward you.

“Well, well, well, stiff, you’re still here. I thought you would be factionless by now.” She spat.

“Amy, just beat it. Go away,” Four defended you.

The girl babbled a few words and left. You knew it wasn’t over.

Warren came back then with your drinks and invited you to dance. You were having fun, Alicia and Chris dancing beside you, and Eric staring at you from the bar.

You told Warren that was your turn to get the drinks and you went to the bar, but you didn’t see Eric when you got there. You asked for your drink and waited impatiently.

“Looking good, initiate.” Eric came beside you bumping his shoulder into you.

“Thank you, sir.” You said, smiling. Were you trying to flirt with Eric? The bartender slid over your yellow drink and gave Eric a beer. He came close to you and whispered.

“You look hot as hell!”

You blushed at his comment. “Thank you,” You whispered back.

“Tell me, what’s in that drink?” He asked you making sure his tongue tickled your ear.

“Is that really what you want to know?” You whispered back in his ear. “I can tell you that it is pineapple juice and coconut rum.” At this point your hand was on his chest while the other was holding your drink. He placed his hand on your hip while talking to you, he was looking right through to your soul. You could feel the warmth of his breath and you realized that a lot of people were looking at the two of you. His hand traveled lower to your butt.

You whispered is his ear. “I better get going, we are getting people’s attention,” And you went back to your friends.

You danced for a long time and you lost sight of Eric. Warren was trying to be a little sassy, but you were only concerned about Eric’s whereabouts.

Suddenly a commotion started. Two guys were fighting in the middle of the dance floor. Warren pushed you behind him to protect you while he tried to break up the fight.

You felt a hand on your arm and the next thing you know you were being shoved behind the speakers. You looked up to see Eric’s lustful eyes on you, his hands around your waist and before you could blink, his lips were devouring yours. His whole body was covering yours, the kiss was passionate and deep, your tongues dancing around each other as you placed your arms around his neck and held him close. He was pressing his pelvis against you and you felt yourself heat up. Your right leg was up and your ankle was behind his knee almost at his thigh, his hand holding your thigh closer as he moaned into your mouth. When he broke the kiss he looked at you like you were his prey.

“You are driving me crazy, I can’t stop thinking about you.” He whispered in your ear and was about to leave when you grabbed him by his collar and kissed him once more. When you were finished, you whispered.

“I was not done yet.”

“You go back to your friends and ditch Warren, then go to the dorms, I don’t want him near you, none of them. You’re mine now. Go.” He commanded you and disappeared.

You came out of your trance to find Warren desperately searching for you. You told him you were tired and told him you were going to call it a night.

He walked you to the dorms. He leaned down to kiss you, but you turned from his lips to kiss his cheek and said good night.

You could still taste Eric’s lips on yours, and feel the pressure of his body on yours. As soon as your head hit the pillow you fell asleep, and dreamed of Eric and you together all night.


	10. Hard to Trust 10

The next day you were going back to the dorms after your fear landscape and you saw Eric coming towards you.

“Come with me, initiate.” He said. He took you up a hall that you were kind of familiar with. It was where his apartment was located. You watched as he typed his code in the lock at the door and let you in first. As soon as the door closed, he grabbed your arm and pinned you against the door, closing the space between the two of you.

“You will be the death of me. You know we can’t happen, it’s against he rules, but I can’t stay away from you anymore.” He whispered.

“I’d rather be factionless with you than dauntless without you.” You whispered back leaning your head closer and kissed him. Then there was a loud knock on the door.

“Eric, I know you’re in there and I know Y/N is with you, Max was in the control room and he saw you both coming up here on surveillance cameras. It’s better if she comes with me now, he’s on his way.” Four said through the door.

You opened the door and went with Four to avoid any commotion from Max. Eventually Max calmed down noticing that you were not in Eric’s apartment and Eric came up with an excuse that you forgot something when you stayed in his place and Max seemed ok with that, but you didn’t have the same luck with Four.

“You have got to be kidding me! Seriously, Y/N? After everything I’ve done for you, you choose Eric? I went back to that hell hole for you! I trained you so you could come here and we would finally be together! But no, you chose Eric. I love you and anyway you chose Eric, you’re unbelievable.” He dropped all the burden on you and left. You stayed in the hall not knowing what to do about all that. Four loved you. Everything Jordan said was true. Four had more than a crush on you, he loved you.

The next two days Four avoided you like the plague, and so did Eric. You were avoiding your friends and any human contact yourself. Your fear landscape had come to be. All these emotions were driving you insane. You understood that Eric was avoiding you because of Max and that Four was avoiding you cause he was hurt, but what were you supposed to do? You felt rejected and because of that hurt you pushed all others away.

Finally the day had come. The final fear landscape test, your last day as an initiate. You left the dorms and were going to the cafeteria for breakfast. Alicia and Chris had left before you while you were getting ready, so you were walking by yourself when a hand grabbed your arm. You smiled lightly thinking it was Eric but when you looked to the person beside you shock coursed through your body. Jordan was beside you grabbing your arm tight and you couldn’t breathe. His deep voice danced in your mind.

“Hey babe, miss me? I know you did. Come with me, I want to show you something.” He grinned, pulling you behind him.

“Let me go, Jordan! I don’t want to go anywhere with you.” You shouted, trying to pry his fingers off your arm.

“You think that pathetic big boyfriend of yours will come and save you? Yes, my beautiful fiancé, I know about you and Eric, I have my informants here. Will he save you? I don’t think so, you’ll see.” He dragged you through the halls and when you reached his destination he placed his hand over your mouth and whispered. “Don’t say a word or you will spook them, just look how nice it is.”

He turned you to face the other side of the corridor where you clearly saw Amy making out with some guy, but you couldn’t see who it was just yet. Jordan whispered in your ear.  
“Just wait, wait. There we go.”

And then you saw him, Eric. Making out with Amy. Tears formed in your eyes and you managed to free yourself from Jordan’s grip and ran in the opposite direction.

You stopped by the chasm and sat there. The emptiness and rushing water of the chasm used to calm you down, but not today. You were feeling drained, weak and emotionally broken and you were going to your final emotional test. You didn’t even care anymore. You cried by yourself until it was time for your final test. 

You took a big breath and walked into the waiting room. You sat beside Alicia and held onto her. She saw how hurt you were and knew that you needed her. She didn’t say anything, just held you.

The door opened and Four called your name, you stood up and went to your final test. Entering the room you saw Eric with Max. Stupid asshole, he didn’t even know you saw him with Amy. You couldn’t look at him any longer. Noticing your agitation, Four lead you to the chair.

“Y/N, are you ok? You seem upset. I’m sorry about the other day, I had no right to throw all that on you. Please forgive me.”

“It’s not about that, Four. I already forgive you. I’ve missed you” You said.

He smiled at you and lead you to the simulation chair. “You know the drill, be brave.” You took a quick glance Eric’s way as the serum’s effects took you over.

You went through your fears very bravely and easily until you reached the last one. All your loved ones despising you, saying mean things to you. When Eric stepped up and said he never felt anything for you and that he was just following Max’s orders, Jordan looked at you saying that he told you so, that no one cared about you. You punched him in the face and said:  
“I do! I care about myself and that’s all that matters.” 

You thought you were finished, but a new fear started and you didn’t know how to deal with that. You were back at that hall looking down at Eric and Amy, watching them make out with Jordan by your side showing the spectacle to you. In your mind Eric was watching you watching him. You punched Jordan again, making sure he knew that no matter what happened you would never ever go back to him. Then it was over. You were awake now.

You sat up in the simulation chair and Four was already by your side. Your eyes met Eric’s; he seemed surprised. You let Four walk you out of the room.  
“You did great. That last fear though, that was new.” He said.

“I know, I didn’t expect it, but let’s say something happened. I thought I would fail when I realized I had a new one.” You said sighing.

Four rubbed your back. “You can stay with your friends now, the results will be up at dinner time at the cafeteria. Max will give a speech.” He left you with the others calling the next name for their final test.

You, Alicia and Chris were hanging out at the cafeteria having dinner and waiting for your final scores. You were a little scared of failing.

When Max stood up at the balcony with Eric by his side, you felt a pain in your heart. “Initiates, the final stage is over, today you will become full members of dauntless. For those who didn’t make it the guards will lead you to the exit. For those who made it, congratulations! Here are your scores.”

Chris  
Y/N  
Joey  
Warren  
Alicia

You zoned out. You made it, and you were second! You were so thrilled. There was celebration going on all around you, you and your friends screaming and hugging each other, you didn’t notice Eric approaching you.

“Congratulations, you’re dauntless now!” He said.

“Thanks.” You said, trying to avoid conversation.

“Can I talk to you in private?” He pleaded.

“Are you serious? Do you think I’m stupid? There’s nothing to talk about. If you saw my final fear, you know I saw what you did.” You were almost screaming at him.

“I’m still your leader. Lower your voice down and come with me. Now.” He ordered.

You followed him outside and as soon you got alone he started talking.

“They set us up, she kissed me and I pushed her away.” He was trying to explain.

“That’s not what I saw, but it doesn’t matter. I was a fool to think that something was going on between us. You’re just like Jordan, you just want to hurt me. Congratulations, you succeeded.” You said, turning to walk away.

Eric grabbed your arm. “You know me better than that Y/N. You know that Jordan is the one you shouldn’t trust, not me! I didn’t do anything wrong and I want you to know I would never betray your trust.” He was opening himself up to you and you didn’t believe him.

“I’m sorry, it’s a little hard to trust. I don’t believe you.” You turned around and left. Eric knew he would need to do more to get you back, so he didn’t follow you.

You went back to your friends and Max approached you. “Congratulations, initiates, from now on you’re dauntless! Tomorrow you will choose your jobs and your living places! Be here at 8 am.” He said to you all.

“Thank you, sir.” The three of you spoke at the same time.

Warren came up to you and held you and lifted you up. “We did it!! I just can’t believe you were better than me.” He said jokingly .

“Funny guy, do you want me to show you? I can beat you up right here.” You joked back. Warren was becoming a great friend of yours even with the crush he had on you.

Despite all the celebration and happiness of your friends, you were feeling sad and defeated about all that had happened with Eric, so you excused yourself and went back to the dorms.

That night you didn’t sleep well. The day’s stress kept you awake most of the night. How could Eric expect you to trust him after what you saw?


	11. Hard To Trust 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content  
> You've been warned !

When morning had come you were more tired than before going to bed. Still, you got up, showered and got ready. Alicia was with you the entire time. You told her what happened; Jordan, Eric, Four, geez what a mess you put yourself into.

“Sweetie, you just have to give it some time, everything will be fine. You will be fine. Yesterday me and Chris were at the pit after you left and Eric stopped by the bar to get two bottles of whiskey and just disappeared. Zeke told us that he usually does that when he has issues or is facing some problems, he goes to the bar, gets some booze and just goes home to drink by himself.” She told you.

“Thanks for being so supportive, honey.” You said to her and you both went to the cafeteria to meet Chris and then choose jobs and living arrangements.

Four was by the door when you arrived. “So, do you know what job to choose? You got second, you can choose a good one!” He told you.

“I have an idea, but it’s a secret, you will find out later.” You smiled.

After you ate your breakfast, Max stood up from the leaders table and asked for everyone’s attention.

“To our new dauntless members, you will be called by ranking position and you must come to the leaders table to discuss your job and living arrangements.” He announced and called Chris up right away.

You noticed Eric sat beside Max looking extremely tired. Alicia told you that she and Chris were getting an apartment together, you were happy for her but you still had hopes she would live with you.

“Y/N” Max called out.

You sat down on a chair in front of Max with Eric by his side measuring you up the whole time.

“Congratulations, Y/N, you’re second in rankings so I suggest you choose a job in leadership. We don’t have any leader positions available here, but there are other leader positions as research, council, adviser or leader trainee, I think your father will be pleased with any one of those choices.” He placed a paper in front of you with other options. Max made it clear to you that those other options were for people ranked below you.

“Thank you so much, sir, but I’m not here to please my father. I’m here to find my new home and my future, and I want to do this.” You said placing your finger on the paper in front of you showing the position you were willing to accept.

“Patrol, really? Are you sure?” He asked you.

“Y/N, you can’t possibly be considering patrolling, who’s going to protect you out there?” Eric was clearly not happy about it, you could see the anger burning inside him.  
“I’m dauntless, I can take care of myself. It’s what I want.” You finished.

“Ok.” Max said. “Do you have any living arrangements, any roommates?” He asked.

“No, I would like to live by myself, sir.” You said.

“We have a few single apartments, I will assign one of them for you. Here is your code. Just type it on your lock and it will allow you to change the password for one of your choice. Present yourself on Monday morning at 8 by Patrol supervisor to meet your team. You’re the second one asking for Patrol today, so I guess you will be working with your friend Chris.” He shook your hand and you joined your friends to wait for Alicia. Eric was so mad that you could see the flames in his eyes and his ears turning red as you left.

You told Chris that you probably would be working together and you two were thrilled about it. Alicia came back telling that she was going to work with Kate at the infirmary. You two ran to see your apartment while Chris was meeting the guys at the pit.

You were going upstairs and you heard some voices whispering in a nearby hallway. Both of you got silent and before you knew you were already listening.

“Jordan, I told you that it would work. She believed that he was actually making out with me! For crying out loud the guy spat at me, literally. He’s lucky I love him.” You heard Amy’s snickering.

“Aw babe, come here. We are going to get them separated, Eric will go back to you and I will have Y/N back, but in the meanwhile let’s have some fun.” That was Jordan’s voice and they were clearly making out.

You then remembered Eric telling you that they had set him up, and you thanked God Alicia was with you, because if anyone told you that, you certainly would not believe it. And you realized that Amy was the informant Jordan told you about.

The two of you went in the opposite direction and towards your new apartment. Your apartment was already furnished and the bed was brand new. You just needed to buy sheets, covers and pillows. The couch was cozy and you and your friend stayed there talking for a while.

“I should talk to Eric, he will never forgive me for not believing him.” You confessed to your friend.

“I don’t think so, Y/N, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way he drools over you. I’m pretty sure if you talk to him he will be happy to have you back.” Alicia said.

The two of you went down to a store to buy some things for your new places. Alicia then went back to her place with Chris to set things up and you stopped by the library before going back to your place. You grabbed a few books and went upstairs to make your bed and take a good long private shower.

Your bed was perfect with new black sheets, comforter and pillows. You sat on your couch ready for bed with a sports bra and shorts and started to read a book you got. You kept thinking about talking to Eric, but you were sure he wasn’t going to forgive you so easily.

You were entranced in the book when you heard your door lock beeping and the door opening.

“How did you get in here? I changed the password.” You asked when Eric made his way into your livingroom.

“I’m a Dauntlesss leader, I can have access to any apartment code I want.” Eric sneered at you.

He sat down beside you on the couch. Closing your book and putting it on the coffee table you sigh. “There’s beer in the fridge if you want. If you’re so comfortable and feeling at home, you can help yourself.”

Eric stood up and went to the fridge to grab the beer, he got one for you as well. When he sat down by your side you noticed his hand resting on his knee all bruised and the knuckles were busted open. You repositioned yourself pulling your knees into your body so you could reach for his hand. Your fingers surrounded his hand as you caressed it.  
“What happened? It looks pretty bad. I bet the other guy didn’t have a chance, huh?” You said lacing your fingers in his.

“It was nothing, he deserved much worse.” He said placing his beer on the coffee table.

You placed your own beer on the floor and sighed. “Eric, listen, I’m sorry for not believing you when you told me they set us up.” You confessed.

“I didn’t came here for an apology. I know I will have to prove to you how much you matter to me, and I will do it because I care about you. And because I don’t tolerate any other guy near you. You’re mine and no one will take you away from me.” He said bluntly.

You knew there was no point arguing to that, so you told him about what you heard Amy telling Jordan and that they were together on it, also that they were making out at the hallway.

Eric looked at you side-eyed, he then turned his body towards you, grabbed your knees and pulled you to him. He was on top of you, his body laying against yours and kissed you like there was no tomorrow. He was kissing your neck, licking and biting and you were seeing stars.

“Eric, wait, slow down, please.” Your mind was playing tricks on you, making you remember your last night with Jordan, all the broken promises. You giving yourself to him and him breaking your heart.

“What?” He asked you, out of breath. He looked you up and down, his eyes full of lust.

“Bedroom. Take me to the bedroom.” You whispered not giving your brain a chance to argue. You hadn’t finished talking and Eric already had you in his arms carrying you to your bedroom. He placed you on your bed and got undressed in lightning speed. You were under the covers when Eric joined you and remove your sports bra. He took his time on your plump breasts kissing, sucking and licking. You were moaning his name louder and louder. He came back up and kissed you with so much lust that you practically melted under him.

You kissed his tattooed neck open mouthed and it was his turn to moan. You were already feeling his excitement on your thigh as he was fully naked on top of you.  
He went down your stomach trailing kisses down it until he reached your shorts. As he removed them your breath was stuck in your throat and a frightening feeling was taking control over you, but you didn’t want to stop him.

He placed kisses all over your inner thighs and to your wet aching core. He took his time sucking and nibbling you and every time you tried to move he placed his hand on your belly to hold you still. You were on fire, that was a feeling you never had before as Jordan had been pretty selfish and fast with you. Now you understood that all he wanted was to take your virginity, to claim you. As Eric licked and sucked your pussy and played with your clit you were loosing control, until everything went numb and you had your first orgasm.

He felt you trembling under him and went back to you kissing your belly all the way up. He kissed you passionately bringing you back to him. “Have you done this before? Can I go on? If you want me to stop, now is the time. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.” He whispered in your ear.

“Once, I did it once. P-please, don’t stop.” You muttered back.

“Oh, baby, you’re so mine.” And with that he thrusted hard into you. One thing was pretty clear to you, Eric was not gentle and you were loving it. He was slamming into you with no mercy, it was painful at first and then you began to surrender to him.

“Oh baby, you feel so good.” He managed to grunt out.

Right before Eric reached his orgasm your second wave came on and you both collapsed on the bed. He pulled you to his chest and you laid there listening to his incredibly fast heart beat.

“I just want to set a few things straight first.” He said between breaths and got you worried.

Raising yourself up on one arm you look him in the eye. “And what is that?”

“From now on no more hanging out with Warren. No way in Hell are you getting close to Jordan. I can only tolerate Four because he helped you and he cares about you, and if it wasn’t for him I would have never met you. But you are mine, and mine only.” He informed you.

“Are you mine as well?” You asked him, holding your breath.

“With all my heart and soul.”

You smiled at him and then layed your head back on his chest and fell into a blissful sleep.


	12. Hard to Trust 12

You must have tossed and turned a lot during the night because the next morning you woke up facing the other side of your bed. Your face wasn’t on Eric’s chest anymore but you felt his arms around you as your back was pressing against his chest. You tried to move only to be rewarded with little kisses being trailed along your back.  
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said.  
“Good morning,” you answered turning yourself around to face him.  
You felt those beautiful blue eyes looking deeply in yours. His usual emotionless face now had a little smile upon his lips. He kissed you and got up going to the bathroom.  
When he came back you got up, showered and got dressed.  
“You have the day off today, but I have to go to work, remember what I told you before, no Warren, no Jordan”  
He wasn’t finished when you interrupted him  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got that. You don’t trust me, do you?” You said.  
“I trust you with my life. It’s them I don’t trust. Let’s go get some breakfast.”  
Eric and you entered the cafeteria holding hands, he was proud to show you around as his accomplishment. At a distance you saw Jordan and Amy sitting together, Jordan’s face was all bruised and he had a huge black eye. Instantly you looked down at the hand holding yours, with all those bruises and open knuckles and you knew what happened. When you reached the table where Alicia and Chris were at, he kissed you in the middle of the cafeteria and said, “I have to sit with the leaders now, but I promise that at lunch I will sit with you.” And he left to sit beside Max.  
“What was that?” Alicia squealed.  
“I don’t know what we are, but we definitely are something.” You giggled with your friend.  
You spent the whole day with your friends, had lunch with Eric and then met him at his place for dinner.  
You two had another unforgettable night of crazy wild rough sex and even though you were sore you couldn’t deny you were loving it.  
The next morning the shower sex was driving you out of your mind, Eric seemed a little too obsessed with leaving some bite marks on your neck and collar bone, he was paying special attention to those parts. But even so you were loving that steamy hot session with your ruthless leader in the shower.  
He placed your hands on the tiles in front of you while he slammed into you from behind. The goose bumps were prickling on your skin as you found your tempo together.  
“Oh baby you are so gorgeous, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” He said.

At 8 am you were at the garage presenting yourself to the Patrol Supervisor.  
“Y/N, it is a pleasure to have you on our squad. We got lucky this year and three of our best initiates decided to work with us at the Patrol, so we decided to make a team with the three of you together. Guys, right on time.” He said to your two coworkers that were arriving at that time. “Y/N, Chris and Warren, the three of you will be our new squad. You can go over there to Joshua, he will give you your weapons and assign you to your vehicle. He will only supervise your patrol today so he can show you exactly what to do and how you receive your orders. Be brave, do us proud.” The supervisor known as Vincent told you.  
You were so excited about your team that you wanted to jump and scream, but Eric’s voice came to your head “no Warren”, and you kept wondering how to tell him that Warren was on your Patrol team.  
Your fist day on the job was awesome, Joshua showed you how to report back to the base through the radio on your vehicle. He also gave the three of you cell phones so you could reach each other in case you were separated during an incident. Every new member of Dauntless received phones today, but as you were not in the compound, your boss gave you yours. He told you the phones were already charged and you could start using them right away. You were in your Patrol vehicle, Warren was driving, you were next to him up front while Chris and Joshua were in the back seat.  
“Y/N, please tell that boyfriend of yours to go easy on you, your neck is almost raw. I understand what he’s trying to do, I would probably do the same to claim you, but he can chill out and not hurt you like that.” Warren said while laughing.  
You knew he was doing that out of hurt because you told him you didn’t want any relationships because of Jordan.  
You were so embarrassed while the three of them were laughing.  
“So, who’s your boyfriend Y/N, do I know him?” Joshua asked you.  
“It was this guy that works at the fence..”  
Warren didn’t have the chance to finish when Chris stepped up.  
“It’s Eric. Didn’t you know, Warren? He was all over her yesterday in the cafeteria to make sure everybody saw him with her.”  
“Oh, that explains a lot about the hickeys.” Joshua said. “It’s an effective MO.”  
“What? Are you kidding me, why didn’t you tell me?” Warren said looking at you.  
“Sorry, Warren I didn’t mean to hide anything from you, I didn’t even know something was happening between us until the day of the final test. Actually I don’t know exactly what we are now.” You said.  
“I just want to ask you a favor, please, tell the asshole that if he ever hurts you, if he screw things up, I will be right here, right by your side to pick you up. And I will hunt him down and kill him.” Warren finished the subject and moved on.  
You kept staring at him not knowing how to respond to that.

Eric went down to the garage to get your phone number from Vincent and he took a look at your patrol team.

Patrol 8 – Y/N, Chris, Warren

You were extremely tired heading back to the compound so as soon as you got into your apartment you headed straight to the bathtub and sank in, just relaxing. Eric had texted you that he was working late, and he wanted to make sure his number was the first one on your phone. So you took your time to relax, you didn’t even go to dinner. After your bath you just laid down to rest your eyes and fell asleep almost immediatly.  
You woke up with hands all over you and Eric’s large frame on top of you.  
“Hey sleepy head, are you ok? I couldn’t find you at the mess hall or the pit and you didn’t answer your phone.” He mumbled into your neck.  
“I didn’t hear the phone ring, I think I was just tired and might have fallen asleep.” You answered.  
He started kissing your neck and laying his hands all over you and you could feel he was ready to go.  
“Eric… Are you naked?” You whispered.  
“I don’t want to waste time, babe.” He smirked against your skin.

Eric was naked on top of you when he woke you up. After your hot sex session you were laying your head on his hairy chest and you decided to tell him about your Patrol team.

“So, I know what you said the other night, but I just want to tell you that Warren is on my patrol squad, so I would be probably hanging out with him, a lot, as it is my job.” You said almost as a whisper.  
“I know, I’m a leader, don’t forget that. I knew when I went to get your phone number from Vincent, I was just waiting for you to tell me. And also Joshua told me about Warren’s message to me. He has some balls threatening to take you away from me.“ he said.  
“Please, don’t hurt him, he’s just being overprotective, he cares about me and he knows what Jordan did, he doesn’t want me to get hurt again.” You pleaded.  
“That’s MY job, to take care of you, to be overprotective.” He said getting up, and before going to the bathroom, he loomed over your naked body on the bed and said “C’mon, we’re going to get some dinner.” He seemed mad.  
It was almost 9 pm when Eric took you to the cafeteria to have dinner, all the way there not a single word was spoken. The cafeteria was almost empty, so you two sat down alone.  
“You have no reason to be mad, Eric. It seems you don’t know me well. I would never do anything to hurt you. I care about you and that’s why I’m with you. Not him, you, I’m with you.” You said almost crying.  
Eric put his burger down and looked at you. “I can’t stand the idea of someone that is in love with you being around you all day, that’s all. I already told you that I trust you, I don’t trust him.” He said.  
You two finished your dinner in silence and went back to your place.  
It didn’t take him long to be all over you again.  
The days were passing fast and your nights with Eric were the best. You were incredible happy with your job choice and with Eric. You learned few personal details about him and he about you. Little things like how he got turned on when he saw you wearing his boxers or how cranky he was if he woke up and you were not in bed. You also learned that there was nothing sweet about him, he could be anything but gentle. He was always concerned about you but he never demonstrated it, he cared about you but he was never open about it unless you were in bed. And the sex, wow, that was awesome, but never gentle, he was always rough and dominating over you.  
One day Eric had to leave early for a meeting and you went to the cafeteria by yourself. When you got there you saw Four alone on a table, so you joined him.  
“Hey stranger.” You greeted him.  
“Oh my god, Y/N, you’re alive! It seems I haven’t seen you in ages! How is patrolling? And your almost married life?” He was happy to see you but seemed a little hurt. He held you and you two sat down for breakfast.  
“I’m good. I love patrolling, but I’m far away from married Toby, I just get home so tired every day that I don’t feel like going anywhere besides my room.” You said.  
“I’m pretty sure Eric is keeping you locked up as well, after he beat up Jordan he made sure no one crosses your way anymore. Jordan went back to the fence and Amy asked for transfer to the fence as well.” He told you.  
“Well, I think it’s for the best, I can’t stand the idea of having Jordan around, eventually I might forgive him, but not anytime soon. I have to go. I miss you, Toby, we should meet for dinner sometime, what about Friday?”  
“Only if you promise not call me Toby anymore.” He answered you.  
“Done! Friday, my place, 8pm, don’t be late.” You said leaving for patrol.  
Ok and now how you’re going to tell Eric that Four is coming for dinner? You decided to text him, at least you didn’t have to look him in the eyes to do that. To your surprise he seemed ok with that.  
The next day Eric left in a hurry because he was late for a meeting with Max and forgot his phone at your place so you decided to stop by his office to drop the device off before going on your patrol. When you approached Eric’s office you noticed the door was slightly opened and he and Max were talking inside. You’re not used to listening to other people’s conversation but your life in dauntless was proving to you that eavesdropping was quite common here, so you listened.  
“Andrew is very pleased about your relationship with his daughter.” That was Max voice. “I told you this girl would be great for your career, Andrew already suggested another chair for dauntless on the city council and you know who will take that chair? That’s yours as you’re the president’s future son in law.” Max finished.  
“Are you sure?” You heard Eric saying.  
You couldn’t take any more. Was your life with Eric all a lie? A political maneuver to get another chair in the council? Was that why Eric was so ruthless with you, why he was so hard and never gentle? Was that why he was so possessive? Because he had to have you for himself otherwise he wouldn’t get a better position in the council? You couldn’t wait so you just entered the room and Eric and Max looked to your enraged face.  
“You forgot your phone, asshole.” You threw the phone at him and ran out the door.  
You were running down the hallways crying and you could hear Eric calling your name as he ran after you.  
When Eric reached the garage, you were already boarding your patrol vehicle and took off.  
He called you desperately but you ignored the calls. Seeing how mad you were Warren couldn’t help himself.  
“What happened? Why are you so mad?” He asks.  
“Just leave it, Warren, I don’t want to talk about it.” You said shaking.  
“Darling, calm down, you’re shaking. Do you want me to stop the truck?” He asked you  
“No need for that, just keep going, we have to check on that Candor call that Vincent told us about yesterday.” You told him, never looking at him.  
The next 45 minutes of ride you managed to calm down but your phone didn’t stop buzzing. Chris was in the backseat clearly worried about you when his phone rang.  
“Yeah? Ok, just a sec. Y/N it’s for you, please leave me out of this, whatever it is.” He said passing the phone to you and you knew it was Eric.  
“What?” You answered the call angry.  
“Why are you ignoring my calls? What did you hear that made you so mad at me? You called me asshole in front of Max, I’m your leader, for Christ sakes, do you know how much trouble you are in?” He was fuming, screaming on the phone, so you screamed back.  
“I’m the one in trouble? Are you fucking kidding me? You used me to get a position on the council and I’m the one in trouble? You are unbelievable, Mr. Coulter, you just lost me and as soon as I reach my father you’re losing your precious position as well.” You said hanging up the phone.  
Of course he called back.  
“What?” You said.  
“Is that what you think about me? Seriously? I just heard about this position yesterday, I was planning on telling you tonight. I wanted us to celebrate together, because for me there’s no happiness without you. This position was just a bonus. But don’t even bother, we will talk tonight but it won’t be pleasant.” He said and hang up.  
What did he just say? You turned the phone around in your hand, as if it could replay the last conversation.  
The rest of your day was miserable, you kept asking yourself if you overreacted, if Eric was telling the truth. When you returned to the compound the last thing you wanted to do was face Eric, you wanted to run away and hide, but you’re dauntless, you’re brave, so you went to your place. When you got there, there was no sign of Eric, so you went to take a shower. You put on some baby doll camisole that you knew use to drive him crazy, just in case you needed to divert his attention. When you opened your bedroom door, your living room was empty, no Eric, nothing.  
You sat down on your couch and stayed there until you fell asleep.


	13. Hard to Trust 13

You woke up around 5 am, Eric never showed up, and you were feeling empty. Since you could no longer sleep, you decided to go to the training room to release the stress on a punching bag.

After your work out session you went to your patrol. The silence in the truck was deathly, no one dared to say a word, but after half a day in silent, your friend Chris decided to break the silence.  
“Can someone say something, please? Y/N, what’s going on? You’re usually the chatty one.”  
“I’m fine, Chris, I just have some personal issues that I don’t want to bring here.” You said.  
“But we are your friends, you can talk to us. Take the pressure off your chest.” Chris pushed.  
“It’s just Eric issues, Chris, we are not speaking. At least not since that phone call yesterday.” You admitted.  
“Oh, but he spoke to me.” Warren stepped in.  
“Really? What did he say to you?” You were curious, you wanted to know anything related to Eric. You couldn’t stand missing him so much. Even with you thinking that he was wrong and you being suspicious about the council position.  
“He stopped by my place last night just to make sure I wouldn’t make a move on you. He said you two are having some issues, but you are his girlfriend even if you don’t think that anymore. He’s very persuasive when he has a knife to your throat.” Warren seemed pissed.  
“He did what? He put a knife to your throat? This guy is unbelievable. Do you guys really want to know what happened?” You were fuming, the anger boiling in your blood.  
For the next hour you talked, you told your friends about the conversation you heard, about the council position and your thoughts of Eric using you for that.  
“Y/N, have you considered the possibility that Eric might be telling the truth? That he just found out about this the night before and that he was planning to tell you? You said yourself that he didn’t know who your father was until the visiting day and he was already into you by then. We know that, he was claiming you way before that with all the guys in dauntless.” Chris told you.  
“That’s true.”’Warren said. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but Eric has been on my back since the first day I met you. Do you remember that day Four introduced us at The Pit? Well right after you left, he approached me and told me to back off. I kept my distance for a while but when I noticed he didn’t make his move I invited you to the club opening. So, yeah, he was into you before visiting day, for sure.” Warren finished.  
For the rest of the trip back to dauntless you kept thinking that you were being childish over Eric and you wanted to talk to him desperately, but it was the night Four would come over for dinner, so you would wait until the next day.  
You got to your place and went straight to shower, after that you were in your room just putting some clothes, a tank top and leggings just to be comfortable. You didn’t know how long you stayed in the shower but when you left your room and opened the door you were surprised to see Four and Eric in the living room, both with beers on their hands. It was so weird seeing the two men, who hated each other, sitting in the same room, and sharing a beer. Just because of you.  
“Oh my God.” You said in a scared voice. “What are you doing here?”  
“This is the night you told me Four was coming for dinner, actually you texted me, so I didn’t want to miss it.” Eric said normally.  
“I didn’t think you were coming as you’re not speaking to me.” You said sarcastically.  
“I think I should leave.” Four was obviously very uncomfortable with the situation.  
“Stay.” Both you and Eric said at the same time.  
The entire dinner was awkward, Eric was just being there while you and Four talked. Basically just about your daily routine as he told you about his. Half past ten Four decided to leave. He got up and held you close.  
“I really miss you Y/N, don’t be a stranger, please.” He said kissing your forehead.  
“I won’t, I promise.” You answered.  
And he left. You closed the door and went back to the living room where Eric was still on the couch.  
“Can we talk now?” He said standing up.  
Before you could say a word he grabbed your faced and kissed you passionately. He held your waist pulling you closer to him and deepened the kiss. You placed one hand on his neck and the other in his side shaved hair. You were desperate for him, for that time apart you couldn’t imagine your life without Eric, it hurt your heart just to think of being without him.  
When he left your mouth and went to your neck he whispered in your ear.  
“You silly, silly girl. Do you still have doubts about us? I’m crazy about you and you’re mine.”  
You pushed him a little just to be able to look into his steely blue eyes, tears running freely down your cheeks.  
“You’re not with me because of the possibilities of going to the council? You’re not with me because my father can help you with your career?” You said between sobs.  
“Y/N, I really don’t care who your father is or what he does. I’m not with him, I’m with you. You’re the one I want, not him.” He said lowly, looking into your eyes.  
“You told Warren I’m your girlfriend? You threatened him?” You asked.  
“I just wanted to make clear that he was not suppose to attempt anything with you. I told him that you are my girlfriend, but Y/N, you’re so much more than that, I don’t want to label what you mean to me. I can no longer function without you.” And he kissed you again.

The next week everything got back to normal. You and Eric were back on track having wild rough sex during the nights and your patrols were exciting during the days.

You were on your patrol with Warren and Chris when you received a call on the radio asking for your squad to check a disruption on the factionless sector.  
Once you got there, you jumped out of the truck followed by Chris and Warren by your side.  
“I don’t see anyone here, we better split up. Warren you go right, Chris you go straight forward and I will take this route.” The three of you agreed and you went left.  
You were walking for a while and there was no sign of factionless. You were interrupted by your phone ringing.  
“Y/N, no sign of factionless here, I’m coming your way. What’s going on there?” Warren asked you.  
“Nothing here, get Chris and I’m coming to meet you, let’s get the hell out of here.” You said.  
The moment you placed your phone back in your pocket, you heard something. You turned around but saw nothing, you held your weapon closer to your chest and headed towards the meeting point. After only three steps, a factionless came running to you and hit you on the back with a piece of wood. You collapsed on the ground not being able to breathe. He must have hit you right where your lungs are. As you tried to stand up, he hit you repeatedly on the same spot. You were starting to hyperventilate when you heard gun shots and the factionless man fell down beside you.  
Chris came running to help you and Warren was right behind him.  
“Y/N, are you all right? Can you move?” Chris asked frantically helping you stand up.  
“Yeah, I can move, he just caught me by surprise.” You said, your voice barely audible.  
The three of you took another look around, this time together, and went back to the truck. You were in excruciating pain, but you didn’t tell your friends about it.  
Warren kept asking you if you were ok and all you could say was that you were fine, just tired.  
When you got back to the compound you reported the events to Vincent and went straight to your place despite the attempts of Warren and Chris that you should go to the infirmary, or at least have dinner with them, so they could keep an eye on you.  
When you got home you went straight to the shower and stood there for a while trying to get rid of the defeat you were having.

Eric was finishing some paper work in his office when there was a knocking on the door.  
Warren came in a little pale and concerned. “Eric, sorry for bothering you, but I think Y/N is not ok. We were covering the factionless area for a disruption. We split up for a few minutes and when we got to her this factionless man was beating her up with a plank of wood. She said she is fine, but she was too quiet all the way back and you could see in her face she was in pain. I just thought you should know.” Warren told him.  
“Thanks, Warren, I’m going to her place right now to check on her.” Eric was already standing up and leaving his office.

When he reached your apartment he stormed in calling your name with no answer. He was already falling into despair. You were nowhere to be found. He saw the bathroom door closed and sighed relieved hearing the shower running. He tried to open the door but there was something blocking it. He forced his way in and he saw your body passed out, blocking the door. He forced a little more and was able to enter the bathroom. You were naked, laying on the floor. He got your robe and put it around you before carrying you to the infirmary.

You woke up to white lights in your eyes as you slowly opened them. You looked around and realized you were at the infirmary again. You saw Kate and Eric whispering in a corner since they didn’t notice you were awake.  
“You better not be talking about me or since you probably are, you better tell me.” You said in a low whisper.  
“You’re awake!” Kate said coming toward you. “How are you feeling?”  
Eric was already by your side holding your hand.  
“Confused, what happened?” You said.  
“I found you passed out on your bathroom floor after Warren told me what happened during the patrol. I told you I didn’t want you patrolling.” Eric was mad.  
“Eric, calm down, she doesn’t need to hear this now. Y/N, your lung was punctured. You couldn’t get air into your lungs, that’s why you collapsed.” Kate explained to you how the beating punctured your lungs and what could have happened if Eric hadn’t found you. “And you better stop showing up here naked.” She said laughing at you.  
She left the room leaving you and Mr. Cranky all by yourselves.  
“I’m sorry.” That’s all you managed to say.  
“You don’t have to be sorry, but you should have come here right after you arrived. Babe, you could have died if Warren didn’t find me and tell me what happened.” He bent over shifting himself closer to you.  
“You’re done patrolling. I’m placing a request for your transfer.” He madly said.  
You placed your hand on Eric’s chest and sighed.  
“Eric you’re not the boss of me. I love doing patrols and I will continue doing it. That’s my choice.” You said defiantly.  
He held your wrist so hard you thought he would break it. You saw anger in his eyes and he was fuming, he sighed heavily and stormed out of the door.  
Kate came in and told you that you were staying over night and you should rest. She gave you some sedatives and in no time at all you were asleep.  
You woke up many times during the night. Every time you glanced to the chair next to your bed, but there was never any sign of Eric. The last time you checked there was someone in the chair, you tried to sit up and woke the person next to you.  
“What are you doing here?” You asked.  
“I stopped by to see you after my shift in the control room.” Four said to you.  
“Who told you I was here?.” You said lowly.  
“Eric. How are you feeling? He told me you took a beating from a factionless.” He asked.  
“I’m fine, a little sore but fine.”  
You chatted for a while until Kate came in and released you to go home. 

Four walked you to the cafeteria first so you could eat. You two sat and were having breakfast until Chris and Warren joined you.  
“How is my bravest patrol officer?” Warren asked sitting beside you and placing his arms on your shoulders.  
“Can’t wait to go back, but Kate put me on bed rest for another day. Tomorrow I’ll be back to nag you both.” You smiled at them.  
You were talking to your friends when the mess hall got quiet for all of a sudden and you knew Eric was entering. When he sat at the leaders table, the noise came back and you were feeling pain and sorrow. He glanced toward you and you could tell he was surprised to see you there. He seemed tired with bags under his eyes. You gave him a little smile with nothing in return. You excused yourself from your friends and went to your place. Four walked you there and waited for you to shower to be sure you were fine before he left. You laid down on your bed and drifted off.  
You woke up to the loud noise of your door closing, when you opened your eyes, Eric was standing in the threshold of your room watching you. It was night already so you must have slept all day.  
“I couldn’t stay away any longer, not with those guys all over you. You are mine and I don’t like them babying you.” He said. “But I’m still mad about your choices.”  
“They weren’t babying me. They are my friends and they were worried about me, not that you care. You never showed up last night.” You said sleepily.  
“You think that I didn’t check on you? That I don’t care? You were sound asleep the whole time I stayed here. I had to leave because Max called me on an emergency in the factionless sector; the same one where you were attacked. I left when Four arrived.” He said coming toward you, taking his jacket off.  
He undressed leaving only his boxers on and moved toward his place on the bed. You felt the mattress move and he slipped under the covers.  
“If you think that I would just leave you because I don’t agree with your job choices, you’re wrong.” He said, making himself comfortable.  
You cuddled into his arms and drifted to the most healing sleep ever. Eric was the only one capable to heal you just by being there, by touching you and making you feel loved, despite your choices.  
The next day you woke up much better and were showering when Eric entered the bathroom.  
“Hey babe, I was thinking and you should move in with me, my place is bigger and we will be more comfortable there.”  
You thought you were hearing things, you cleaned the fog on the shower glass door and looked at him with your eyes wide opened.  
“What? Do you think we should? We fight a lot, we need our separate spaces” You had no clue of what to say.  
“You don’t have better excuses?” He was laughing. “Tonight you pack your things. I’ll help you and tomorrow I will ask someone to take your things to my place. Tomorrow night you will be living with me, officially.”  
He beat you on that. You had nothing to say because deep down that was all you wanted, to be with him as long as you could.  
You were sitting in your patrol truck with Chris and Warren, but it was silent, until you spoke.  
“Eric asked me to move in with him” you told your friends.  
“I really don’t know how he didn’t make you move in right after initiation.” Warren admitted.  
“We were not speaking that day, I was extremely mad at him.” You confessed.  
“Ok, well, you have to tell me when you guys fight. Please, it’s the only chance I get.” He said laughing.  
“Ha ha, funny, I like you too much already to ruin things up by having an affair with you.” You confessed.  
“One day, baby, one day.” He said.  
“I really hope Eric doesn’t have a wire here, or you’re a dead man.” Chris joked.  
You were back in the factionless area, but with no problems this time. 

When you went back, your squad convinced you to have dinner with them, so the three of you headed to the cafeteria. You in the middle and both guys with their arms on your shoulders, your arms on their waists.  
When you got there, Chris let you go to open the door, so when you entered the cafeteria Warren was still holding you, and of course, you ran right into Eric.  
Warren removed his arm instantly and went in the other direction. You understood why he decided to leave you and Chris to deal with the beast.  
“What was that?” Eric asked you.  
“Warren forgot he had a date tonight.” You said still laughing. Chris was petrified, just waiting for what could happen.  
“Why did he have his arms on you if he has a date tonight?” He asked.  
“He was just being my friend, like we always are to each other, these guys are my family. They look after me when I’m out there. So you better stop being so jealous and come have dinner with me.” You said.  
“Ok, but don’t think this conversation is over, let’s grab something to eat and do that at you place while we pack your stuff.” He said moving toward the kitchen.  
“Bye Chris, see you tomorrow. Tell Warren to chill out, he doesn’t need to run.” You said laughing.  
You waited for Eric to get the food and you both went to your place to eat and pack. You finished packing your things and were exhausted. Eric went to take a shower and when he was back you were soundly asleep. And that was your last night at you own place.  
The next day your patrol was normal, and when you were coming back you received a text on your phone.  
“Hey babe, all set! We moved all your things to my place and I already returned the apartment key to Max. Go straight to my, I mean our place when you arrive. Door code is 0424. See you there.”  
Living in Eric’s apartment was going to be a challenge. You were used to be around each other, but you knew if you needed you had your place to take a time off from Eric, but not anymore.  


You were happy, on a completely new level. You could never imagine you would have someone besides Jordan.  
Going to sleep on Eric’s chest and wake up in his arms was heaven for you. And he knew that was always the perfect time to convince you of everything he needed.  
That night you were cuddling right after the most steamy sex session. You were listening to his heart beat, he was trailing circles on your back with his fingertips.  
“Babe, I have to ask you something. Next week we will have the factions dinner, all the leaders are supposed to attend. Will you go with me?” He asked you.  
“Anything for you babe, I will. Will my parents be there?”  
“Of course. Your father is the president, he hosts these dinners.” He told you.  
“I’m so happy I will be able to see them.” You said.  
The week passed by fast and you and Alicia went to a few stores so you could buy a dress for your first appearance as Eric’s better half. You found a beautiful long, black dress that had the back out until the beginnings of your butt, but not slutty, classy with long sleeves. The long skirt had an opening in front of your right leg that came up to your thigh.  
“You’re to die for, sweetie, but are you sure about this dress? Won’t your parents be mad, with all the abnegation rules?” Alicia asked you.  
“Oh my, I didn’t think about that, they will be shocked, but I’m dauntless now and I love it. And I’m sure Eric will too.” You said.  
“Only if you don’t get to much of people’s attention.” She pointed out. The two of you left The Pit laughing. Eric was so predictable when the subject was you, that was so hilarious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys notice the door code to Eric's apartment ? 0424 is the day she chose Dauntless and jumped on the roof ! The day he first lay eyes on her.


End file.
